How would you feel if you were related to a professional athlete?
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How would you feel if you were related to a professional athlete?
David Murphy, Daily News Staff Writer
Ryan Madson's wife is at the center of a controversy surrounding her alleged comments. (David Maialetti/Staff Photographer)
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WARNING
This blog post will require you to employ critical thought, and avoid gut reaction. It will require you to step outside your own existence and into that of somebody else. It will require you to set aside the emotions you want to feel, and instead consider the reason you want to feel them. If any of this does not interest you, I would encourage you to stop reading. There are plenty of other areas of this web site that will appeal to you. If, however, you are interested in peeking beneath the surface of an uncomfortable situation, I would encourage you to continue. It might not alter your feelings. But at least it will not make you hate me.
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About once a season, a controversy like this arises. A member of the Phillies, or a member of their extended family, will say something that rankles the fan base, and that something will get picked up by a media outlet, and that media outlet's something will get picked up by other media outlets, and before you know it, gangs of neighborhood watchmen will be organizing on the corners of Rhawnhurst and Springfield and Bensalem and preparing to march with shovels and torches toward Citizens Bank Park. They are my least favorite stories, the ones about somebody saying something that upsets someone else. The esteemed philosopher Fred Durst once labeled it, "the he-said, she-said bulls---," and that's pretty much how I see it.
Back in 2008, Jimmy Rollins labelled Phillies fans "front-runners" in a national television interview, and a great deal of outrage was then expressed by those fans, including the 25,046 who had bothered to show up for a Sept. 10 game against the Rockies, including the thousands who had spent much of that season booing 2006 NL MVP Ryan Howard, including some who would go on to yell about signing Cole Hamels to an extension after 2008, and then yell about trading him after 2009, and then yell about signing him to an extension after 2010, and then boo him after his first start of 2011.
Was it wise for Rollins to say what he said? Probably not, unless his end-game was to take the bulls-eye off the back of his struggling teammate, which, knowing Rollins, just might have been the case. But was Rollins right? Absolutely. The majority of fans in every professional city are front-runners. That's the glory of being a fan. You get to think with your heart and react accordingly without having to take pesky little things like the big picture into consideration. You don't shell out your hard-earned cash because you want to sit in a luxury suite and sip your bottle of Evian and perform a rational analysis of everything that happens in front of you. You buy your tickets and your jerseys and your T-Shirts and your beer so that for three to four hours of your life you can sit in a stadium seat or a leather recliner and forget about reason and just react.
It's a beautiful thing. For you. But there are human beings on the other side of those reactions, and as much as you want to believe in the mollifying qualities of millions of dollars, those human beings have wants and needs and desires that are very similar to yours. You think Cole Hamels should not have a care in the world because he makes more money than you? Well the single mother on welfare working two minimum-wage jobs might feel the same way about you.
Most professional athletes have been conditioned to accept the realities of their standing in society. The adulation, the loathing, the cheers, the boos, the stares and whispers while walking through the mall: They chose this life. They can easily walk away from it. For the majority of people, the immense benefits of life as a professional athletes would outweigh the various inconveniences, most of which are minor when compared to other occupations.
The same cannot necessarily be said of life as a professional athlete's family member. Which brings us to the case of Sarah Madson, and a blog that very few people had heard about before today. A woman named Laura Goldman, who runs a blog called Naked Philadelphian, talked to the wife of Phillies set-up man Ryan Madson at a charity event and quoted her as saying, "I hate the fans. It is bad enough that they bother us during the season, but they will not leave us alone in December when we go out to eat. We stayed here during the off season last year, but we will be going to California this year. There must be something particularly bad about Phillies fans because all the players leave in the off season.”
According to Goldman's blog, Sarah Madson, five months pregnant with the couple's fourth child, also complained about female fans of her husband, saying, “Can you believe that they have the gall to give my husband their number in front of me?”
There is some strong language in there: "Hate," "bad," "bother," "gall" -- nobody wants to be associated with any of those words. And I'm sure there is at least one columnist in the metro-Philadelphia region who is preparing to put on his Lorax shoes and and shake his fist in indignation and speak for the fans, for the fans have no tongues.
But before you react, I ask that you focus on four different words, words that if repeated enough would make this planet a hell of a lot more inhabitable. Those words are not "Make love not war" or "Don't tread on me" or "Make it a double."
Those words are, How would you feel?
It is not an easy life being a player's wife. There is a reason why one New York Times article floated the estimate that 60 to 80 percent of NFL marriages end in divorce. An athlete playing in Philadelphia might be subjected to boos, but rarely is he subjected to biting personal criticism. You might have booed Jimmy Rollins after he labeled you a front-runner in 2008, but if you ran into him at a bar and he offered to buy you a drink, you sure as hell would have clinked glasses with him and patted him on the back. Family members, though, are anonymous. That person two rows in front of you who can hear you and your friend trade cheap insults about Joe Blanton? It might be his wife. Or sister. Or his mother. Or his aunt. Or his high-school teacher. That guy at the coffee shop reading the newspaper column about how Cole Hamels lacks the intestinal fortitude to become an elite-level pitcher? It might be his brother. Or father. Or best friend. Or college coach.
That dinner conversation you just interrupted to ask for an autograph? It might have involved a family member's health, or a child's behavior, or a job's future.
Forget whether Sarah Madson actually said what she is quoted as saying or in what context she meant it (A Madson representative told the Daily News' Dan Gross that the couple "enjoy playing in Philadelphia and have a great fondness for the city and the fans"). Forget the fact that this is one of those "stories" that should die by daybreak. It offers us, the viewing public, a chance to step inside a perspective that few of us ever have reason to consider.
How would you feel if you were five months pregnant with your fourth child and your husband was preparing to embark on a six-month odyssey in which he spends one week on the road for every week he spends at home? How would you feel if, on the rare occasion that he and you and your three children are able to head out for a family dinner on home turf, you are constantly interrupted by strangers? How would you feel if you watched women in tight Phillies T-Shirts sliding phone numbers to your husband?
You probably would accept it. You probably would even enjoy it at times. But on some days, you sure as hell would hate it. And on one of those days, you might find yourself admitting it.
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Comments (147)
The money has nothing to do with the situation. When his pregnant wife has to see female "fans" approach her husband with their phone number, IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE, that is just plain wrong.— beegal99- I understand it now. The player makes millions so that gives the fans the right to b obnoxious jerks.— Don w
- did anyone take time to note the fact that she's 5 months pregnant? its called hormones. its called bad days. please tell me everything that has come out of everyone of your mouths has never been something you wished you didnt say out loud? or you were having a bad day? yes it all comes with the territory. and quite honestly, i personally believe her comments have ruffled so many feathers because philly fans always take heat for being horrible fans. so when someone from the inside makes a comment like that, it hurts more. but seriously ppl, imagine being out to dinner with your (dead sexy) husband and children and not being able to raise your children or have a normal family outing without being interrupted and the phone numbers bit is outrageous. walk a mile in someone else's shoes. chill out. and for real ppl, read whoopie goldbergs new book 'is it just me, or is it nuts out there?' cause you'll get a new perspective on the life of famous ppl and the fact that they are just that, PEOPLE.— breeleighjo
First off - a lot of you are missing one Very large point. Mrs. Madson is "five months pregnant with the couple's fourth child." Any woman who has borne children and any father & husband should at the very least be empathising with the lady, not condemning her.
The rest of you are a bunch of Children; Get off my lawn.
I'm sure it is exceptionally hard for family members to understand and cope with the public's role in their lives, however, I'm sure Mrs. Madsen was aware that her boyfriend/fiance/(and now) husband was a baseball player and that he had the potential to some day become a professinal baseball player; and all the things you mentioned in your article could become part of her life. So, I really don't feel badly for her and situation at all.— dgentile- Great article. Let's move on.
- Murphy , Rollins later corrected himself and said the fans were not front runners, so you somehow tabulated the vote, accounted for the chads and said the majority of Philly fans front run. Dick Jerardi the captain of cool even corrected himself on the issue like Jimmy, yet you did a scientific study and came up with that conclusion. Because a person doesnt go to a game for a while and might show up at the sell outs, does that make him a front runner ? The MAJORITY of Philly fans have supported their team during some very bad years. This is the only thing I disagreed with you on, remember you started covering this team in 2008, but they have a longer history than just 3 years .— marcards
- Mrs Madson cant understand normal thinking.— Jack Hammer
- Mrs Madson cant understand normal thinking.— Jack Hammer
- what a bunch of BS. the phillies are icons around here, what do you expect? i bet when they met, she went home and said he is a baseball player and he is rich. I have no sympathy for her or the family. go to better, more exclusive places. she chose to say i do. This is a town of sports nuts. There are alot of idiots out there in the world but if you are in the public eye you have to be ready. we didnt hear from any of the other wives on the 25 man roster of the phillies did we? What an unfortunate life she leads. be thankful everyday that you are blessed with a great, healthy family and your husband can live his dream and make millions doing it. Not to mention ANOTHER shot at a World Series ring....try not to lose this one.— Jack Hammer
Comment removed.- Anyone wondering if SOME fans are jerks just have to read Cosmok's comments.— Don w
- Fantastic article. Reading the comments it is amazing how much people take little words and personalize them. As an entertainer I have felt this one up close and personal as I have heard the words "well you chose this profession!" Doesn't mean that it automatically opens the door so that every Tom, Dick and Jane has the right to step out of the bounds of common outright decency. It's a job, albeit in the public eye. Rude, crude and socially unacceptable should not be the norm and I think any person has the right to say they find such behavior distasteful to them. I've been going to Phillies games since the sixties and over the years the fan's have morphed. The last time I went to the Bank I witnessed many wonderful role models who were trashed beyond belief, verbally abusive beyond the norm and so foul mouthed in there vocalizations it actually made me wonder how I could ever bring my own grandchildren to such an event and feel like a responsible adult. If I was a family member and witnessed such action I would "HATE" it to. Hats off to Sarah Madson for saying what she felt. It's a shame so many debate her right to do so.— quizzmo
- Cole Hamels didn't have a college coach. He didn't go to college.— tpcapone30
- Ok, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I guess it's all about feelings now (see Sixers page). I'm getting sick of these guys and I think all this winning is starting to go to their heads. I sort of miss the lovable losers.— Butch
- Philadelphia citizens are loud and unfriendly for the most part and that includes most of the fans. I hate going to games because there is always some idiot acting like an a-hole. I've moved around a lot and been to a lot of professional games in other cities. Philly is by far the worst.— Fritz and Alice
- If Rick Santorum were related to a professional athlete, Rick would feel morally superior.— orange rhino
- To answer the question honestly, I'd feel underpaid.— orange rhino
- Entitled mentality. Players leave in the winter because it's cold and they can't practice which is why almost all of them aren't from here to begin with. And they can AFFORD to, Mrs. Madson. You hate the fans, great. We hate the way your husband can't close games. That's why you will get your wish and be somewhere else next year getting closer money to blow saves. And we'll have Stutes and Bastardo and Zagurski at the end of the bullpen making 1/10 of what your ball and chain makes.— Butch
- Who said anything about harrassing pro athletes. How many times in a person life are they going to run into a famous person. Of course, your going to want an autograph or to just say hi. The fans are harmless, they don't realize they're doing anything wrong. If anything the athlete should be happy he just made that fans day or even month. It;s ashame people are so selfish!— FranMc73
- Why on earth does anyone care about this stuff? Will it really ruin someone's day if, my god, someone doesn't think the people of Philadelphia are the greatest people in the world? You know, I'm from this city and have lived elsewhere, and I have to tell you, the people who live here are some of the most sensitive, manic people I've ever come across. The right reaction to this, is who cares. She doesn't like Philly, fine. She doesn't have to. Madson doesn't have to either, nor does anyone. All he needs to do is to do the job he's paid to do and that's it. Stop holding celebrities up to be better than the rest of the human race because they aren't and we have absolutely no right to ask them to be.— Hemingway
- I'm just a fan of your obscure references: "I am the Lorax . . . I speak for the trees!" Well played, sir.— mhoff9
- Well done, David.— andrewfrombrooklyn
- No doubt they remained in Philadelphia during the off season to attend events and signings where her husband was highly compensated. The fan attention was okay then. But that's the thing, fans don't turn their attention on and off. It's pretty much always on. And for the poster who said we fans don't pay the players, Ruben Amaro does: I have heard him say on numerous occasions that it's the fan support over the last several years (front runners?) who have allowed him to go after the big names & free agents that we've been acquiring at such a rapid pace lately. I guess Mrs. Madson never heard the phrase "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." Hope Boras gets them a great deal in Oakland or Detroit so they can be totally anonymous.— BLH
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- not to be insensitive, but couldnt madson get some chick from survivor or something like his teammates? my goodness she's been hit with the ugly stick a few times! no wonder she's angry...— djack10
- Intelligent, thoughtful column; right on the money.
Nothing else to say but "Amen!"— nc_bg - Mrs Madson better be glad her husband does not ever pitch in NY. Truthfully this story is trash. So much good sports to talk about instead of this gossip.— bossrjc
- Murph- My Bad, I thought I was in one of MG's threads. Long day.
- Pretty good article. For those who think that just because one is a celebrity and earns millions of dollars, they should have to put up with obnoxious fan (and media) behavior, you are WRONG. Booing or voicing your opinion at a sporting event is one thing, intruding on the personal lives of said athletes and their families is another. It would be unacceptable to behave this way to a non-celebrity, why is it it ok to do it to an athlete or their family member? Bogus double-standard...— philly2sf
- Sorry Matt: I understand and sympathize with the privacy issues athletes, celebrities and the collateral damage (family/friends) endure. It is no different than any other walk of life, if you can't say something nice, say nothing at all. It is especially true when you are tied to a public figure, let alone speaking to a member of the "media" in today's day and age.
- My two cent's Murph. I kind of have an idea how it feels to have a love one trashed at a game. Back in the sixties I was headed for Vietnam a friend of mine and I decided to take in a game. before it even started three people in front of us were trashing someguy making rude comments and just generally being idiots then one made like a phone with his hand and said paging mr,blank and it was my dad they were talking about. I went livid but didn't want to get in trouble leaving in two days, so I just sat there for a while then just left. when I told my Dad about it he just shrugged and said " those that can do,do and those that can't biotch and moan about it"
He also said the higher up the ladder the worse it gets. So I know first hand what it must feel like when some loser trashes your family member with you sitting right there It makes you so angry your capable of anything, My advice if you want to boo fine but don't direct it at anyone player it's a team after all is said and done.— ease - One final point...It's amazing that it's Ryan Madson's wife complaining. Think about what the more popular guys have to go through...Think about people like Jeter, Pujols, etc...Who undoubtly get more attention, but they, along with their families, never say a word. You don't think all the wives of the many, many ballplayers who are more talented and popular than Madson have it worse? Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones. Many of us know how bad that can get...— MFPhils
- figgy, so you managed to insult the fans who took exception to what she said, without providing much of an opinion of your own.
Why shouldn't the fans get upset? She completely generalized...and you can say what you want about how bad the fans are...wahhh wahh wahh. The truth is, you have cities where the fans are crazy over their teams, or the fans just don't care. Ask a player whether he'd prefer to play in an empty stadium or a packed one.
You can't possibly believe that an entire city, any city, packing a stadium every game, isn't going to get excited about seeing their favorite players on the street. If so, you live in la-la land.
People just don't act crazy over sports players, they've been doing it over celebrities forever. Hek, look at the paparazzi. So stop it with your anti-fan blasts because you want to pretend you have some type of pedastool under your feet. You are just as average as everyone else.
Unless, of course, you are the fan that would never want to spend the $$ to go see them play in clearwater, if you could. Or never buy season tickets if you had the opportunity. Never buy gear if you could...Cause I mean hek, if you are willing to wear some other guy's name on the back of your jersey, like some kid idolizing his hero, than you certainly would trip over yourself at the opportunity to actually shake the man's hand.— MFPhils - Before I even read the comments - which I'm sure there are a few doozies. I must admit that, once again, David Murphy absolutely knocks it out of the park. What a great post, by an extremely talented writer. Now I prepare to laugh at these posts while waiting for the Flyers/Phils to start.— phillyjeffsr
- "He said, she said"....non-issue, move on.— dogman5
- she didn't say harass. She said bother... which to me means they had the 'audacity' to be a fan and actually want to say hello... HEAVEN FORBID! Hate us all you want... cause now we all hate you too...— IMO112
- She might have a thin skin, like those who would take offense about what a person's wife had to say. Grow a hide, laugh it off.— escapedcamden4monterey
- Hey Cheese, what do you think of the fact that she tried backing out and then got nailed for lieing even further? Madson can go elsewhere for all I care...She just put a mark on her man, who was loved here, for the most part. He better choose sides real quick...We'll see how fast she gets what she wants in this city. When no one cares at all about Ryan anymore, she'll be begging for it...— MFPhils
- Marie Antoinette shot off her mouth, when she told the starving French peasants to eat cake if they were out of bread. Her husband, Louie, remember, went to the Barbershop shortly thereafter, and they took a little too much off the top. What spouses say does matter.— laser5
- My son is two years old and claps when the Phillies score a run. He loves his Phillies clothes and hat. I guess that makes him a fan. Do you hate him too, Mrs. Madson? My point being: Yes, there are annoying people out there who pro athletes and their families have every right to be uspet with. However, lumping all fans together and saying you hate us all is completely unfair.— riles1875
- How would I feel if I was related to a professional athlete? THANKFUL!!!— debrodl
- phillyinsd -I live in PB since 1977, nothing has changed. In a bar one person may recognize a Charger, doubt a Padre unless Gywnn, and tell their friends but nothing like Philly, my point! When I lived in Philly back in the 70s I remember elementary school kids on a bus recognizing Mike Schmidt driving by. No way that would happen here..no way!! If the true fans are like Philly why are there blackouts every other Sunday. There are over 3 million folks here and even if 1/2 are from somewhere else they should be able to sell out 8 games. Besides many of the folks who live here are now home town fans. The economy here is at last as good as Philly, actually way better so money isn't the issue. And, really how much more is there to do in Santee, El Cajon or Escondido than there is in Wayne, Kensington or South Jersey, so that classic excuse simply doesn't fly. Why do the Padres only draw 17K fans in a pennant race in late September? This hasn't changed either. I remember walking up to the gate in '79 for the Houston vs Charger playoffs and had my pick of seats. Oh yeah I was down at the Hard Rock cafe back in Feb. Hoffman was in there and I heard folks saying "who"? Last year I went to the Phillies/Padre series and saw Coleman down by the dugout, my brother and I were the only ones in the crowd to recognize him. He said "Do you guys know where you are"? LOL! I could go on and on. Don't know where you live or how long you've lived here but your observations aren't what I have ever witnessed and your fan comparision is totally wrong and always has been.— sarah89
Seriously, Who is Sarah Madson? I am glad she is not spending her off season in Philly. Who are you Lady.- Murph - you DID realize what you were getting into.... Didn't you?— DaveCicc
- The blogger is a piece of work herself. Complete with a rap sheet for extortion and a host of other unsavory accusations. Look her up.— s
- The blogger is a piece of work herself. Complete with a rap sheet for extortion and a host of other unsavory accusations. Look her up.— s
- Although I disagree with Mrs. Madsen's comments, and the blogger who slickly decided to print them, I'm glad David Murphy addressed this issue and provided a disclaimer beforehand. Just as we can question Mrs. Madsen's civility, or lack of it, towards the Philly fans, we can also question the fan's civility towards her, other family of Phils' players, and towards other fans in general. Phil Sheridan did it a few years ago, and got buried for it. Why? Is it that difficult to attend a Phils game or an Eagles game without searching out reasons to attack other fans, particularly fans of the opponent. Look how ridiculous things got at Dodger Stadium; a Giants fan was beaten to a pulp by a couple of Dodger fans/thugs simply for wearing Giants gear. We don't need that here, and we don't need anything approaching that here.— 76erfn
- I am willing to concede that everything she said is true, her remarks dead on, and that I can see why her anger is justified.
However, her decision to vent to some stupid blogger was thoughtless and irresponsible, could wind up hurting her husband's performance, the team's chemistry and performance, and possibly cost herself and Ryan millions of dollars on the FA market, since the added pressure on him could mess up his head, and make GM's hesitant to sign a player whose wife is a loose cannon. (remember Anna Benson)
— laser5 - Murp......Who cares!!!!!......Media hype....Need to sell papers and attract viewers and get responses on blogs........Who cares!!!!!— REL
- Yeah, but think how cool being a single major leaguer would be. Wilt Chamberlain is said to have had 5000 women in his lifetime.— orange rhino
- It's one thing to say that you hate all the fan attention, I think most fans can completely understand that. but when you use the work "hate" followed by speculation that PHILLIES fans are so bad that players prefer leave in free agency... that's more personal and reflects her true unhappiness/dislike about the people here. Some can say who cares what she thinks...which is true, I couldn't care less, but I think it's clear that her choice would be to leave in free agency when that time comes. That's why I find it interesting and is another reason I wouldn't expect Madson to be here.— sojo
- Thanks kat20 for for remembering our warriors and their real problems.— Joe at the shore
- Another blogger gets her 15 minutes of fame...film at 11.
- How would I feel? I'll tell you what - if I can get paid enough money playing a game for a living, traveling around the US with a bunch of guys who I will probably find at least one to be buddies with, and then retire by 40 without having to worry about the future financially for myself or my family, but at the expense of having an entire city "Boo" me or bother me while I'm eating out...sign me up. Seriously, to be so lucky that is what I'm going to complain about? I'll tell you what - if anyone wants to berate me, the going rate is only going to be $25 an hour - step right up, make your deposit and then let it rip. (Let's remember that Ryan Madson chose his profession, and "professional athlete" did not suddenly become a career that involves a spotlight - he darn well knew what he was getting into, and so did she.)— jstump29
- Everyone is wrong:
Sarah Madson is wrong because you should never $**t where you eat....at least certainly not in public, regardless of who you thought you were talking to.
Laura Goldman is wrong because she is a sensationalist blogger who sucks so badly at her craft that she posted this trash, in what I could only imagine was a moment of weakness by a frustrated person, just to get hits to her blog that nobody visited before this.
Murph is wrong for further publicizing a trashy blog writer's column, justifying her desire to keep doing stuff like this, only because he couldn't come up with something more thought-provoking to write about.
The fans are wrong for expecting more from their ticket purchase than the ability to watch a live game for three hours regardless of the outcome, for paying for a cable bill expecting more than being able to yell at the TV from the privacy of their own home, and for feeling entitled when they aren't entitled to anything at all. Fans don't pay madson's salary. amaro makes those decisions and dave montgomery et al writes the checks. fans simply enable amaro to make those choices about which players he wants to pay.
And lastly, Ryan Madson himself is wrong for his future decision to use this over-publicized incident as a legitimate reason why he won't re-sign here after this year when some idiot GM of another team decides to pay him $12m/year for three years because Scott Boras has embarrassing photos of him, and Amaro correctly refuses to pay him more than his true value.— djacobs5582 - one of the disadvantages of living in the 'information age' is that one of the side effects is 'misinformation' or flat out lies. who knows what she REALLY said, HOW she said it or in what context? i honestly don't care if she said it or not. i honestly don't care if she MEANT what she said. she's entitled to her opinions and i have much better things to worry about. just my 2 cents...— esesjay
- Let me preface my comments by stating that I am a 25 year Eagles' season ticket holder. The fans in this city have got to let up, once and for all. Who the hell cares that Ryan Madson's wife might have said a few words at some event after probably drinking a couple of white wine spritzers?? Why are Philly fans so damn sensitive? The rest of the world does not owe us a living and the martyrdom thing is getting real old. And please stop it with the whole "I spend a ton on tickets and I can do or say whatever I want". No you damn don't. The price is for admission to the facility and you have the right to your assigned seat. That's about it. Read the fine print on the back of your ducats, folks. Enjoy sports for what it is. It's not the real world for 99.9 % of the civilized world. If Mrs. Madson's comments were somehow imnpacting your quality of life, lowering the value of your home, or threatening your job, then maybe there could be cause to get upset. Other than that, she's a rich jock wife who probably has a lot of time on hands and she was making small talk with a low paid blogger.— Domenic
- I can appreciate her feelings, but it beats actually working for a living, doesn't it?— Alpheratz
- @sarah89, I don't know where in San Diego you live, but I managed a bar for years and we got a lot of the Padres and Chargers in there and they always got noticed, even scrub players. Granted, the fans here are pretty fairweather fans (most are from someplace else), but the true fans are just like any from other cities.— phillyinsd
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- I hate to break it to Sarah Madson, but I clearly remember standing above the dugout in a late August 2005 game, where it certainly was not the woman asking for her husband's number. I do recall that he was turned down. Maybe Ryan was still single at that point?— mr
- Guilty, I've made insulting comments and even trashed my favorite players, but I would never want it to fall into the wrong ears and be held accountable. When I spout off like a frustrated fan I do it in the spirit of a fan and change my position when ever I feel fit. I guess I don't see it as reality, and certainly would never be insulting to a players face, because I don't really mean it. Sadly, Sarah Madson is not afforded that same luxury— philly2cents
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- the people who are upset at his wife's comments are the numbest of numbnuts. YOU'RE the reason the Snowballs at Santa story will never go away....."If Sarah Madson doesn't like it us, she should get a divorce" Really, you thin-skinned simpletons????......Sarah Madson called me mean. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.— figgypop
- Boo hoo Sarah Madson. Poor thing is 5 months pregnant and only sees Ryan 2 weeks a month. Bet all of the pregnant military wives that never see their husbands and lay awake at night worrying if they'll come back alive really feel bad for her. Boo hoo again she can't go out to dinner in peace. I wish I had her problems. My husband lost his job over a year ago thanks to the economy and I couldn't go out to dinner if I wanted to, in peace or not. I think she needs to remember who makes it possible for her to have the "terrible" problems she has that apparently make her "hate" us...yes, I can see where we're deserving of her hate. Ryan needs to tell her to keep her thoughts to herself and concentrate on shopping or whatever it is she does those 2 weeks a month 6 months out of the year while he's out making the lifestyle that's so difficult on her possible. Give me a break.— kat20
- I like your stuff, Murph, but I don't know why you bothered touching this story.— phils_tnj1
- Murph - I feel you (and commend you for attempting to show some Phils fans how irrational they really re), but let's be honest, I think women who marry professional athletes have some idea of what they are getting themselves into....— main liner
- You have to be pretty damn rude to give a professional athlete your phone number when he's standing next to his pregnant wife, and no, the fact that he makes lots of money doesn't change that.— drbob1
- Comment removed.
- Quixote- that may be the most stupidly inane comment I've ever seen posted here. Murphy has forgotten more baseball than you will ever learn. In actuality, this article by Murph is the best I've ever seen from him....and maybe the best seen on this site for a long, long time. — JosephL
- I'm a die-hard fan of all Philadelphia sports teams, and have been following the Phillies since I was an infant in the mid 70s. I'm not the least bit offended by Sarah Madson's comments. She's not talking about me, and she's probably not talking about you. She's referring to rude jerks that interrupt them during dinner, and trashy women that hit on her husband right in front of her. Her mistake, of course, is in characterizing all Philadelphia fans as lacking couth in such a manner, albeit in what appears to have been an off-the-cuff remark that may or may not have been off the record and may or may not have even been said.My suggestion - if you see Ryan and Sarah out and about, and they're not in the middle of dinner; apologize to her for the behavior of the knucklehead minority.— bobby-d
- The single mother on welfare comparison means nothing here.
1. Her husband makes millions of dollars
2. He makes millions of dollars BECAUSE of fan attention
3. She doesn't like fan attention and apparently fails to distinguish between different types of fan attention.
SO, either stop making millions of dollars or deal with fan attention. Period. Next thing we'll have doctors complaining that they have to deal with medicine.— greenbuff - We all rant from time to time. Most of us don’t take our rants seriously nor do the people that hear these rants take them seriously. I don’t take Sara Madson’s rant too seriously. She was probably tired and frustrated at the time. The real villain of this story is Laura Goldman. Sarah obviously trusted Laura. Just as obviously, Laura Goldman betrayed that trust. The real lesson of the story is that if you find yourself in the presence of Laura Goldman, then you better just walk away. Everything you say will be used to increase the hit count on her blog.— JCFS60
- While I understand her frustration, as others have commented, this is the sort of thing that comes with the territory. She chose to be part of this world. However, if I were in her shoes I probably would feel the same way. I just wouldn't be spouting off to a reporter. Especially in this day and age where information is available almost instantaneously. Chances are she was saying this stuff out of frustration and it's not a true reflection of her feelings.
Some people are just dumb enough to think that they're entitled to a piece of these guys at all times. They only thing these guys owe us is their best effort and to give no less than 100% when they play the game. They don't owe you all their free time too. As big a sports fan as I am, I would never approach someone if they were with their family. That's their personal time and they don't have that much of it to begin with. I'm sure most people would not like it if what little personal time they had was being disrupted. If they were by themselves, then I might consider approaching them. Most professional athletes understand that people approaching them in public is going to happen because of their high profile status and some are just more comfortable with it than others.— knova05 
Mrs Madsen Bye Bye— Kevinmac- Mrs Madsen Bye Bye— Kevinmac
- Excellent perspective, Murph. Well written in its delicacy to even addressing this story. Really, it's the only way you could have addressed it. If you jump on the fan side and use all the arguments misguided fans would to disparage Madson and his wife, you alienate yourself from the Phillies players and perhaps other people you need to do your job in the organization. If there is a wrong in this entire story, it points to Laura Goldman and her blog that I won't pub by mentioning again. How does a blogspot blog with three (yup, 3) followers post something that gets this far into the mainstream media. For the fans that will whine about the Madsons, see how much you're whining when you have no closer and no set-up man next season. Lidge is down. Contreras is 450 years old. And the Madsons are going to California as free agents. Do you think they're coming back if they feel they can change the culture of how they're treated?— Lieber14
- If I saw Madson & family eating dinner (or any other player on the WS winning team) I'd quietly send a drink over. Too many people need autographs for some reason, I'll never understand that. I've seen too many horrible teams not to appreciate what we have these days. And yes, I boo on occasion. Big deal, family members will get over it.— one_eyed_jack
- So Long Ryan,
Don't let the door hit you on the way to Pittsburg. You'll be anonymous there.— RH - I remember a mother's day game a few years back when Madson was between being a reliever and a starter; before he assumed his current role. They introduced him and his mom during pre-game mother day activities and he was booed. I felt bad for him to be out there getting booed while handing his mom flowers and it probably wasn't his idea to do the whole thing. After I stopped booing I thought, I'd love to have his job and get booed down there with my mom, and she'd love it too. The good far outweighs the bad.— burholme
- Comment removed.
- It happens everywhere. Ask Micahel Jordan.— EL Zorro
- David, Sarah is not his sister, hs coach, parent, or cousin. She MARRIED into this life knowing what Ryan did for a living. She made the choice to be in his life in good times and in bad.— zfaber
- Do players all stay in town during the off season for other teams? I don't think it's a Philly thing. Maybe she's from a different area and just doesn't like the East Coast or something. Has she chatted with Cliff Lee's wife? My wife also hates when women give me their number in front of her - in my dreams!— burholme
- Sarah mad has to put up with it. It's the fans that makes her family rich.— Don Cornelius
- Get over yourself Sarah! What, you didn't think that leeching yourself onto someone in the professional sports world wouldn't have its downside? Lets see, making millions a year and getting interrupted at an occassional dinner or making $40,000 a year and never being interrupted, if you ever can afford to go out to eat. Tough choice there huh Murph!— younged
- Professional athletes are paid for performance on the field, court, track, wherever, not for enduring rude or ignorant fans and especially not away from their performance venues. Does compensation really matter or justify the behavior of fans? Does that mean the Four Aces shoud have to endure 10-20x the bu*&(^%%t then a Valdez or Francisco? If money is the arbiter, does that mean one can harass a local surgeon, lawyer or CEO at a restaurant, public park with his/hr family? There is no justification. The true culprit here is the blogger who is solely seeking to increase their own income/time in the spotlight at another's expense. Isn't there a better way to earn a living?— phillyphaninnyc
- Philly fans ARE loathsome.— AbeVigoda
- She STINKS and she should move to California. We paied for your house, jerk. At least PRETEND to like it here.— Lunchy
We are all responsible for what we say and do. Someone needs to explain that to Sarah, and then remind her that it's us fans that allow Ryan to make ridiculous amounts of money; so insulting us is not a good idea.— mccarte1- I think the biggest problem with what she said was the shot at the end. Ok, fine, you are annoyed by the attention that revolves around your husband, instead of you...What woman wouldn't be? But to make a comment along the lines of how bad of a fanbase we might be...Well, then she just opened her world up, she threw the first punch.
One might want to ask her why she is so insecure that women giving him their number bothers her so much? Does she really think he's going to call one of them back? If not, then who cares? Women have been throwing themselves at stars since the beginning of time...Maybe she needs to experience it somewhere else to understand it just ain't Philly. Perhaps even better, let's send Madson to the Nats where she can watch his career and dreams decline.— MFPhils - Good for her, if people are doing the things she said she has every right to express her point of view and, by the way, so does Jimmy Rollins. There are a lot of people who think everyone who has a different viewpoint than they do is wrong. The truth of it is that in most cases, you are at least a little bit right and at least a little bit wrong. It's all a matter of your perspective.— Paul SoTX
- The author and most of the commenters are missing the point. It's not that she complained simply about being a player's wife. She singled out Philly fans for being particularly terrible. Of course, we're going to respond negatively. Her comments are incredibly selfish not because she's so rich but because the person who will bear the brunt of the backlash is Ryan Madson, not her. She can choose to not go to the games, but he sure as heck can't decide not to pitch. By turning the fans against Madson -- even just a little -- she is hurting Madson's career. Although I like him, and he has done a good job (aside from the tow thing), he's a middle reliever. He's expendable. The last thing he needs is to complicate a few bad days on the mound with fan angst over comments that he didn't even make.— fritzadelphia
- Very good post, Murph. As usual.— Zee77
- Dave, your best work, that I've seen. I just wonder why most of your stuff revolves tidbids of information. Maybe you need a bigger column?— MFPhils
- Who cares....somebody's wife popped off. Any husband in the world has held his forehead more than once whilst his wife says something dumb.
Big deal.— Paperchase - Very good article!!! Ryan better not choke this year or this will surface.— shawnmac
- Rollins called fans out in August 2008 so not sure why Murph gave the 9/10/07 Rox/Phils attendance of 25,046.— cxl72
- The only thing this "story" proves to me is that when it comes to public relations, Sarah Madson is a certified yokel. She may feel that way -- I think most people criticzing her, if they were put in her spot, would feel the same way -- but to admit it to anyone, let alone a journalist, is foolish almost beyond belief.— Chris Garrity
- it was 2007 when the Phils played the Rockies on 2007— Hunter S. T
- My guess is mousenuts gave his number to Ryan and he turned him down.— mdc242
- What is more brilliant is your handle. Is it your take on irony or a window into your personal life? If it is the latter I expect Murph to be doing a story on your wife next.
Maybe Mrs. Madsen can convince her husband to sign in Pittsburgh where no one even knows who plays for the team.— mdc242 - his wife looks like an armadillo, and that's to put it kindly. women are probably giving him their number because they assume that troll is not his wife. oh, and players leave the area in the offseason, because this is philadelphia and the offseason runs through the WINTER. just look at all of the former athletes/coaches/broadcasters who make philadelphia their home after their careers are over. f-you sarah madson.— CosmoK
- What a bunch of hypocrites. If an athlete's wife such as Donovan McNabb had said something like this the media would be vilifying her as if she had shot someone. Give me a break with this phony compassion. If you don't like it here don't let the doorknob hit ya lady.— JLH
- I don't know, Dave. You're witing about how fans treat players -- booing Howard, Schmidt, Hamels, whatever -- and somehow parlaying that into how a spouse would feel? Not the same. Honestly, Ms. Madson should have known better, just as she should have known the players leave Philly in the winter so they can train -- for the outdoor sports that employs them, so they go where it's warm. Other than Matt Stairs, every player heads south, not north, in the winter. If Ms. Madson doesn't like Philly, Ryan better not sign with the Yankees, or Mets or Red Sox, and struggle at any time. I thought we were pretty patient with Mr. Broken Toe last season, actually.— eman
- Pageing Anna Benson....Mrs Madson on line 3— NewMick314
- People who approach pro athletes or celebrities in public, are idiots.— Ron
- Anybody who is offended by Mrs. Madson is a moron. I'm a fan, within the limits of healthy adult behavior boundaries. To be so emotionally tied to a damned sports team/player/spouse/city is imbecilic. The woman is completely right, celebrity or not, there are boundaries and fans are really owed nothing...no one deserves the kind of blowback these players get due to fragile psyches of clueless fans who think THEY are the story. I don't grasp how someone who makes millions is required to tolerate ignorant behavior of someone who willingly paid to watch a sport and most likely never played it themselves. If this goes too far you can count on Madson fleeing this backasswards place once his contract ends. Act like you have other things in your life, otherwise seek therapy.
- Anybody who is offended by Mrs. Madson is a moron. I'm a fan, within the limits of healthy adult behavior boundaries. To be so emotionally tied to a damned sports team/player/spouse/city is imbecilic. The woman is completely right, celebrity or not, there are boundaries and fans are really owed nothing...no one deserves the kind of blowback these players get due to fragile psyches of clueless fans who think THEY are the story. I don't grasp how someone who makes millions is required to tolerate ignorant behavior of someone who willingly paid to watch a sport and most likely never played it themselves. If this goes too far you can count on Madson fleeing this backasswards place once his contract ends. Act like you have other things in your life, otherwise seek therapy.
- You're not very bright. Read this slow so maybe you'll understand. Fans are fans, they are good and bad, deal with it. He makes millions BECAUSE of the fans playing a GAME, what he owes us when WE BUY TICKETS is to do his best whenever he is called upon to pitch. Ryan chose to be a professional athlete and celebrity status comes with the million dollar paychecks. I for one would never approach a player eating dinner, but if I was being paid millions to play a GAME, there are harder things to deal with. My god, grow a brain. — TexasYankee
- I am sure she doesn't hate the fans when we pay to put food on her table or Prada on her shoulder. She needs a lesson in shut your mouth and be happy your husband has a job that pays him 5 million dollars a year.— mdc242
- Good John Lennon/Beatles reference Grazman.— starman76
- Dave, spot on. We dont like everything about our jobs or our spouses' jobs and may, on occaision, say things that are in a moment of (legitimate) frustration and/or facilitated by the person we are speaking with. When that happens to those who have been critical here, would they say it would only be fair for them to give up their job and money and leave town? And it sounds like this was cocktail chatter, not a known reporter doing an on the record interview. Unless you have never said anything casually in a conversation that was in a moment of legitmate frustration and for which you would agree to pay the same consequences that you are asking them to pay, give her and Ryan a break. Well done, Dave!— rnorth21
- What is thought-provoking?
Ryan Madson was a professional athlete for four years before they got married. She wasn't born into this life, she chose it. That makes the overwhelming majority of this post a moot point despite the sarcasm Murphy aimed in the fans direction.
She can dislike it and of course she can have bad days. But if someone says they hate you, who wouldn't react? It was a dumb thing to say and a poor choice of words.
Athletes and celebrities complain about the price of fame and I absolutely can understand their point. She decided to say she hated the fans, which was a dumb thing to say.
— phillyabe - I hadn't heard of this story or that blog until now. I'm now sorry I had to learn about this. Good piece, David, but the sad thing is, we should be able to ignore some things. I know that's what you're getting at.— frankenslade
- Great read Murph!— dinsdale
- Great read Murph!— dinsdale
- I am waiting for a blog from Mrs.Lee, my guess, her take is a lot different...LOL!!!. Memo to Mrs. Madson: Good idea going to Cali, you should pick San Diego. Out here they know nothing about their players, what they look like, who they are and most don't even care. But be glad your husband isn't a Padre because you would hate their payroll and have less than 20K fans contributing to your husband's pay check even when they are one game away from beating out the World Champs!!! Think about it Mrs. Madson.— sarah89
- Well done, David. As someone who is fiercely protective of his own privacy, I can sympathize with Mrs. Madson. And while wealth and celebrity certainly bestow many conveniences, it can also rob you of many of the simple joys of anonymity. I suspect the harshness of Mrs. Madson's language probably reflected a high level of frustration rather than a true reflection of her feelings. Also, just because you pay to see Ryan Madson play at CBP doesn't mean you own any portion of his time outside of it.
That said, I also understand the Philly fans' initial gut reaction. It is going to be overwhelmingly defensive as the city and it's fan base have been the brunt of quite a few unfair or inaccurate slights. I can see where it may begin to feel picked on, and thus feel justified in lashing out. But the only way to shed that unfair image, fellow fans, is to handle moments like this with composure and, maybe, a little self-effacing humor.— Philly Fan Stuck in Alaska - Im sorry, but I just can't agrre with you. Would I go up to an athlete while eating with his family??? No way. But some people would, and that goes for any city. I am a die hard fan of the TEAM and couldnt care less what Ryan Madsons wife thinks about the city I grew up in and where she is only a part time resident. All you ever hear from athletes trying to get that extra MILLION out of the owner on a contract is how short their time is and they have to make it while they can (cant wait for Boras this winter representing Madson) and his wife is more then happy to spend it I am sure. So, shut your mouth and live with it for the "short time". then he can retire and you can live in privacy while I live and die with the 2032 Phillies. Or...just get a divorce and marry a plumber.— amass1972
- Deal with it ....it is part of the territory.....and quit whining...Life is unfair but you did find the 4 leaf clover...so shut up and go on your way....— nuggett
- David, are you actually expecting empathy from a sports fan? Pretty shocking.— pizzzmoe
- Her comments were rare honesty. Who can begrudge her for being complaining--between two women--about being hastled in public by aggressive fans? She didn't complain about booing or the press. Why should anyone care? Do you care about what Roy Halladay's wife thinks about you?— tgray83
- Agreed, but celebrity is a two edged sword.— robinlupe
- David, you know better to write thought provoking blog posts like this. Be careful or you'll end up like Sielski at the WSJ covering the Mets or something.— rodnougat
- How would I feel. I'd feel pretty damn good to be adored by fans and make millions of dollars in the process. Well excuuuuuse me!!! For wanting to get my son, who idolizes you, an autograph while you out in public having dinner! Stay home and order out if you don't like the spotlight. Otherwise, go kick another chair...— Jamey D
- Yes, this sort of fan behavior is incredibly rude. I would never do it myself. But, let's face it, these are high class problems to have.— RockStar
- philly does have some trashy broads...— philly in nyc
- Comment removed.
- i will stay in nyc. sad to say, but the women here are smarter and hotter than anywhere else in this country....with the exception of miami.
now please un-bunch your panties.— philly in nyc - My problem with what she said is using the word 'hate'. I would imagine that every well known player in every home city has to deal with fans interrupting them. It isn't a localized event that happens in Philly alone. So my assumption is that she must hate all sports fans in every city in general. If that is the case, then she married the wrong person. Nobody forced her to marry an athlete. She could have married joe fat slob and had a 70k a year annual household salary and lived in privacy, but that isn't the life she chose for herself.— jaxforprez
- I doubt she said any of it. She could say these things to her best friend to blow off steam, but there is no benefit to saying that kind of stuff to a reporter. I call BS.— JenEv
- To answer your question: How Would You Feel? I know exacty how I would feel...I would feel that if I didn't like life in the public eye I'd divorce my husband and go home. The children and parents of an athlete don't choose the life - but the athlete and wife do. It comes with the teritory. But she's right to be angry and annoyed and hurt and inconvenienced. But don't say it (if she actually did) and remember that you chose this and you can get out just as easily as you got in.— WerthsOtherWife
- You take the millions and the half a year job and you pay the price. Is it wrong for them to be bothered in public? Without Question but when you live in a city where youre husband is a "HERO" for 2008 thats the price you pay. Paying your husband MILLIONS is what gives the hard working people of philadelphia hope everyday. Ryan will make more this year then i will in 10+, but he is paid that money to give me something to look forward to. SO EXCUSE US FANS for wanting to do nothing but want to tell you how much you mean to us. That is why you leave the city in the off season because your time in this city will forever be a local hero so deal with it.— qwerty83
- qwerty- you couldn't have missed the point by a wider margin, than had you responded to the wrong post. Being a public athlete does NOT require you or your family to be subjected to harrassment when out for a meal together. Nor does it allow baseball groupies to proposition the athlete sexually in front of his wife and kids. "Deal with it"? That is idiot talk. NO athlete should have to be subjected to ridiculous treatment as that. Sarah Madson is 100% correct. And you are 100% wrong.
And Murph- best article seen here in many moons.— JosephL - Even Jesus got a little stressed out by the crowds.
But if she doesn't like the life, give back the money and go live in a three bedroom 1.5 bath in Barstow. Of course, who knows what she really said and how she really said it, so I guess cooler heads must prevail. And Murphy, I do like your stuff, but if you are sitting wiht J Roll on this one, you get it about as much as he does.— Eephus - So the media incites a riot then wants the fans to be sensitive ... how about the media only reports news and not gossip, or some pampered womans views on us, as she slowly loss the looks she barely had to begin with.
Please go to California and while you are at it ... don't bother coming back, we won't miss you.— FatBoy90 - Great perspective, Murph. And to "Fan," his/her comments tell me that he/she "forgot how lucky [he/she is] to be in a position to be" living in a home with heat, running water, and access to first world health care, let alone the Internet. Like Biggie said, "Mo money, mo problems."— maximusud
- Good for you, David, for attempting to raise the level of discourse here. I appreciate your efforts. I'll be curious to see how this goes.— kazoob
- Dead on David, Family is out of bounds. It's funny being an Umpire, I have 3 rules for ejection and the top one is 'Say nothing about my family".— therefump
- A very thought provoking article Dave. I for one would never bother a person in such a way (I might atare a bit, celebrities are celebrities after all). However, every city has fans without common sense including Philly. You need to learn to live with it. And keep it to yourself. (Unless you're bigger than Jesus).— Grazman
- +1— explorer08
- Being in the public eye comes with the job. That is the price you pay for enjoying the millions of dollars these pro athletes make. This story simply tells me that some people forget how lucky they are to be in a position to be/married to a pro athlete. I'm sure the Madsons will not turn down the big money he will get this offseason as a free agent in order to increase their privacy.— Chicago_Phils_Fan
- That's all true, but unfortunately, we live in a time when information spreads publicly in fractions of seconds. Madson chose this life, and his wife chose to be a participant in that life. She should know what comes with the territory. That said, I don't begrudge her. It is incredibly rude for strangers to approach their family eating dinner, it is incredibly rude for women to give their phone number to him in front of his wife. I'd probably say a lot worse things than that if I were in her shoes. Just not on the record.— tightlines
- I gather she didn't think she was on the record... — Richard_LV
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