Lohse signs with St. Louis for $4.25 million; Phillies beat writers rejoice

No, the Phillies are not signing me!When I'm 70 years old, and I look back on my life, I will remember days like these with fondness.

1. The day I got married.

2. The day I had my first child.

3. The day Kyle Lohse signed with the St. Louis Cardinals.

You can stop your emails. You can delete the message board threads. You can stop throwing pebbles at my window at 3 a.m. in the morning. The Phillies are not going to sign Kyle Lohse. They are not thinking about signing Kyle Lohse. In fact, rumor has it they have donated their Kyle Lohse pajamas to the Salvation Army.

In case you haven't heard, the Phillies' erstwhile starter finally signed a free agent contract, agreeing to terms with the St. Louis Cardinals for $4.25 million, according to the Associated Press.

That's a far cry from the deal Lohse was originally seeking. And if the Phillies hadn't been satisfied with Kris Benson's progress, they might have made a run at him. But let's not forget this is a guy who is 63-74 with a 4.82 career ERA.

I'm not saying I do not like Kyle Lohse. I'm sure he's a great guy. I am, however, glad that this will be the final time I have to answer any questions about him.

Once more, for old time's sake.

Are the Phillies going to sign Kyle Lohse?