Sunday, February 7, 2016

Zoo with Roy: 'Stuff' Delmon Young says

What might Delmon Young have said during his odd interview with the media Wednesday had our favorite penguin, Zoo with Roy, been asking the questions. Here are some highlights from their bolg.

Zoo with Roy: 'Stuff' Delmon Young says

Phillies outfielder Delmon Young. (Charles Fox/Staff Photographer)
Phillies outfielder Delmon Young. (Charles Fox/Staff Photographer)

What might Phillies outfielder Delmon Young have said during his odd interview with the media Wednesday had our favorite penguin, Zoo with Roy, been asking the questions. Unfortunately, we were unable to send him down there on the private jet he is convinced we have sitting around, but that's never stopped the Penguin before.

Here are some highlights from the totally fictional interview that is somehow extremely believable:

Enthusiastic and physically fit over-achiever Delmon Young (recently anointed starting right fielder for your Philadelphia Phillies) made some waves yesterday when he went against the grain of his normally sunny disposition by basically stating he cares little about practicing baseball in the gorgeous Florida sunshine for a living.

As disappointing as it was to hear such a poor attitude from a renowned clubhouse leader and team player like Delmon, it did get me thinking: “ZWR, what might Delmon Young (in his new, TOTALLY OUT-OF-CHARACTER, joylessly out-of-touch state) say about other things going on in the world?” So I had one of my spring training spies catch up with Delmon after a grueling deep tissue massage. Here were his thoughts on a variety of other current issues:

More coverage
Download FREE Philly Sports Now app for iPhone!
Final season stats for Phillies
Buy Phillies jerseys and other gear
WATCH: Daily fantasy baseball updates

On Michael Vick taking his new adorable puppy for obedience lessons:

“Yeah I mean that’s cool that he doesn’t wasn’t his dog pooping everywhere, but they say dogs die in a fraction of the time humans do, so I don’t see why it’s all that important to train them.”

Re: Dennis Rodman visiting North Korea and making nice with Kim Jong-Un:

“I don’t know why everyone keeps giving North Korea such a hard time, anyway. I mean it’s their country, they can do what they want.”

On the whole Chase Utley-Strasburg-Halladay-Tyler Moore occurrence yesterday:

“It was pretty chilly yesterday so I didn’t even leave the hotel until about 3:00. What happened?”

Andrew Bynum’s knee issues and his relationship with the fanbase:

“I totally understand where the guy is coming from. I feel for him. Wish I had a Ferrari like his, though! Do you have his number?”

On Kate Upton’s SI Cover:

“Who’s that?” [*is shown cover*] “Eh, I guess she’s okay. But I don’t read the media.”

When told she dates (former Tigers teammate) Justin Verlander:

“Sounds familiar, but I’m not really sure who that is.”


Also, be sure to check out Zoo with Roy on Twitter and Facebook.

We encourage respectful comments but reserve the right to delete anything that doesn't contribute to an engaging dialogue.
Help us moderate this thread by flagging comments that violate our guidelines.

Comment policy: comments are intended to be civil, friendly conversations. Please treat other participants with respect and in a way that you would want to be treated. You are responsible for what you say. And please, stay on topic. If you see an objectionable post, please report it to us using the "Report Abuse" option.

Please note that comments are monitored by staff. We reserve the right at all times to remove any information or materials that are unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane, indecent or otherwise objectionable. Personal attacks, especially on other participants, are not permitted. We reserve the right to permanently block any user who violates these terms and conditions.

Additionally comments that are long, have multiple paragraph breaks, include code, or include hyperlinks may not be posted.

Read 0 comments
comments powered by Disqus
About this blog
Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Ed Barkowitz Staff Writer
Bob Brookover Inquirer Columnist
Sam Donnellon Daily News Columnist
Frank Fitzpatrick Inquirer Columnist
Bob Ford Inquirer Columnist
Marcus Hayes Daily News Columnist
Mike Jensen Inquirer Columnist
Dick Jerardi Daily News Columnist
Vaughn Johnson Staff Writer
Mike Kern Staff Writer
David Murphy Staff Writer
Lou Rabito Staff Writer
David Sell Staff Writer
Mike Sielski Inquirer Columnist
Jonathan Tannenwald Staff Writer
Rob Tornoe Staff Writer
Latest Videos:
Also on
letter icon Newsletter