What might Phillies outfielder Delmon Young have said during his odd interview with the media Wednesday had our favorite penguin, Zoo with Roy, been asking the questions. Unfortunately, we were unable to send him down there on the private jet he is convinced we have sitting around, but that's never stopped the Penguin before.
Here are some highlights from the totally fictional interview that is somehow extremely believable:
Enthusiastic and physically fit over-achiever Delmon Young (recently anointed starting right fielder for your Philadelphia Phillies) made some waves yesterday when he went against the grain of his normally sunny disposition by basically stating he cares little about practicing baseball in the gorgeous Florida sunshine for a living.
As disappointing as it was to hear such a poor attitude from a renowned clubhouse leader and team player like Delmon, it did get me thinking: “ZWR, what might Delmon Young (in his new, TOTALLY OUT-OF-CHARACTER, joylessly out-of-touch state) say about other things going on in the world?” So I had one of my spring training spies catch up with Delmon after a grueling deep tissue massage. Here were his thoughts on a variety of other current issues: