World Cup committee rolls eyes as U.S., Russia whine about each other

With tensions boiling and troops on the move, the situation in Crimea as Russia moves in is not one to take lightly. The U.S. sits in judgement of Russia's moves, the majority of which having to do with the fact that Russia is not the U.S. and therefore cannot do whatever it wants on the global stage.

Two Republican U.S. senators have decided to go after Russia the American way: through soccer.

They believe one way to really stick it to those Russians is to get them banned from the upcoming World Cup

“Since Russia has similarly displayed a brazen disrespect for fundamental principles of Fifa and international law, [we] hope you will agree that it doesn’t deserve the honour of either hosting the World Cup or participating in one.

“We ask that a more deserving World Cup 2018 bid should be re-considered instead.”

Yeah, that'll show 'um!

Unfortunately, it failed to show 'um. And not only that, but Russian polticians did that thing where they take the thing the Americans said and turn it around to reveal the complete lack of self-awareness shown by the U.S.

"In light of US's military aggression against several sovereign states such as Yugoslavia with no particular reason; Iraq and Libya -- alleged search chemical weapons; attempt to invade and occupy Syria and numerous cases of human rights violations all over the world revealed by E. Snowden, we respectfully ask that you urgently convene an emergency session of FIFA to consider suspending US's membership in FIFA, and denying the United States team the right to participate in the upcoming 2014 World Cup in Brazil."

This situation's resolution does not lie on a soccer field. At press time, the World Cup committee was reportedly sighing deeply and threatening to "turn this car around."