Friday, July 25, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Wing Bowl 19 Preview

It's another season without a Super Bowl in Philadelphia. Fortunately, the event created to give the fine citizens of this great city an occasion to party - as if they needed one - never disappoints.

Wing Bowl 19 Preview

John "Super" Squibb is the two-time defending Wing Bowl champion. (Alejandro A. Alvarez / Staff Photographer)
John "Super" Squibb is the two-time defending Wing Bowl champion. (Alejandro A. Alvarez / Staff Photographer)

It's another season without a Super Bowl in Philadelphia. Fortunately, the event created to give the fine citizens of this great city an occasion to party - as if they needed one - never disappoints.

Wing Bowl is back for the 19th time, making it the second-most debauched event of Super Bowl Weekend (behind the halftime show, of course). The brainchild of Al Morganti, resident realist of 610 WIP's Morning Show with Angelo Cataldi, created the event in 1993 after the Eagles failed to advance to yet another Super Bowl. 18 years later, it's funny how things change.

In an arena packed to the gills with drunks, boors and strippers, 26 gluttonous gladiators will take the stage on the Wells Fargo Center floor and push their intestinal fortitude to the limit. With the double-headed temptations of alcohol and nudity swirling around them, they will repeatedly tear meat off the bones of chicken wings slathered in sauces, limited only by the strength of their jaws, stomachs and gag reflexes.

Only one will emerge victorious. Of the rest, some will feel shame. The others, pride. But mostly all will feel nauseous, queasy and ill, swearing off the temptations of the chicken wing for good - or at least until next year.

Courtesy of WIP's eaters page, the odds for each contestant are listed below. If you are so inclined, you can view photos and/or videos of some of the contestants performing their qualifying stunts.

Matt Mullin and I will be reporting live from the Wells Fargo Center early Friday morning. If you cannot get out of work, join us for a live chat. If you are lucky enough to be in attendance, you are certainly among the most blessed members of the human race. We know we are.

The Long Shot

Rick the Manager (100-1 odds)

Voted "Most Likely to Puke".

Qualifying stunt: Ate one each of a football, basketball, baseball and hockey puck cake, each off an appropriately themed female Philly sports fan. 

The Wild Card

Obi Wing (00-1)

It's unclear if Obi's odds are a typo or reflective of his chances, but one thing that is certain is that we should expect the unexpected from this nut.

Qualifying stunt: Everything?

ASSORTED CHARACTERS

Kenso Kevin (50-1)

His favorite food is Taco Bell. Riveting.

Qualified by Wing-Off (most wings eaten in 10 minutes)

Lord Bemis (50-1)

If the Lord wins, WIP has promised to produce a new comedy "Bemis and Butthead". Guess who plays Butthead?

Qualifying stunt: Three pounds of hot andoille sausage with 5 ounces of hot sauce

The Bulldog (50-1)

Our man once ate 100 shrimp in four minutes, followed by someone saying, "Hey Bulldog, the ocean called; they're running out of shrimp."

Qualifying stunt: 30 meatballs in 10 minutes

Cheesecake Beefcake (45-1)

Doesn't the cheesecake cancel out the beefcake?

Qualified by Wing-Off

Wild Turkey (40-1)

The eating stunt is impressive, but to throw in a whole tomato is curious. Then again, his favorite Wing Bowl moment is throwing up at last year's event.

Qualifying stunt: Four Big Macs and one whole tomato in seven minutes

HAPPY TO BE THERE

Drunken Mussel (25-1)

This looks like the kind of guy who would fall over and knock himself out if he tried to throw a punch at the bar.

Qualifying stunt: Three pounds of mussels in four minutes

Mongo (25-1)

Quote: "I'm gonna eat the plate!" Don't give him the fine china.

Qualifying stunt: Five cans of sardines in two minutes

The Polish Assassin (25-1)

After being eliminated in the first round last year, this egghead just wants to be competitive and make it to the second round. What, does he work for the Eagles?

Qualifying stunt: 24 hard-boiled eggs in 3.5 minutes

Qwazy (20-1)

This Conshohocken native is most looking forward to the women at Wing Bowl. Think he'll get any numbers?

Qualified by Wing-Off

T-Bone (20-1)

His dream eating stunt? Peanut butter. Get the man a spoon!

Qualifying stunt: The entire contents of one Tastykake Christmas bin (~24 Tastykakes) in 5.5 minutes

THE DARK HORSES

Freak of Nature (15-1)

The Freak (and I use that term with the utmost respect) won the entourage contest at Wing Bowl 18 with a Jimmy Johnson-themed float. Maybe he'll emulate Pukemon this year.

Qualifying stunt: 25 hot dogs (six with mustard) in five minutes

The Shocker (12-1)

I'm shocked his odds are this high.

Qualified by Wing-Off

U.S. Male (10-1)

Just your typical red-blooded, wing-devouring American male.

Qualifying stunt: Four quarter-pound cheeseburgers in five minutes

Tiger Wings N' Things (9-1)

Corporate sponsorship finally hits Wing Bowl.

Qualified by Wing-Off

Damaging Doug (8-1)

What is DD most looking forward to at Wing Bowl? "Taking down El Wingador." Ladies and gentlemen, the Rex Ryan of Wing Bowl.

Qualified by Wing-Off

Iceman (8-1)

His favorite Wing Bowl moment was being on the floor with his son last year. Put that on a Hallmark card!

Qualifying stunt: One loaf of bread and a half-gallon of milk in three minutes

THE CONTENDERS

Joel The Cannon (7-1)

Is his nickname a reference to his vomiting style?

Qualifying stunt: 1.5 pound pumpkin pie in two minutes

Hank The Tank (6-1)

Hank would rather win Wing Bowl than the Eagles win the Super Bowl. Too bad neither are happening any time soon.

Qualifying stunt: One large Uncle Oogie's pizza in four minutes

Not Rich (6-1)

Hopefully he's not counting on winning to make him rich.

Qualifying stunt: One fruitcake in two minutes

Gentleman Joe (4-1)

A Connecticut native, Gentle Joe is not a fan of any Philadelphia sports team. Boo lustily.

Qualified by Wing-Off

The Lunatic (4-1)

This guy might just be crazy enough to win.

Qualifying stunt: Three pounds of calimari in three minutes

Furious Pete (3-1)

This Canuck's favorite Wing Bowl moment was Sonya Thomas winning, because "Who doesn't want to see a girl eat?" How romantic.

Qualifying stunt: 50 eggs in 12 minutes

THE FORMER CHAMP

El Wingador (3-1)

The five-time champ is back to try and dethrone Super Squib. He's the only one who realistically can.

Automatic qualifier

THE FAVORITE

Super Squib (2-1)

Mr. Squib came three wings away from tying the all-time wing record at Wing Bowl 18. The only way he'll lose is if he seriously falls off.

Automatic qualifier

 

THE PICK

Super Squib. We just don't see El Wingador overcoming the dominance Mr. Squib has shown in winning the previous two Wing Bowls. Of course, if His Wingness does in fact pull off the upset, let it be known this pick was made in the Tom Jackson fashion - to motivate Mr. Simmons. Either way, we will not be wrong.

See you Friday.

 


Andrew O'Brien works on the sports desk. Follow him on Twitter: @obieaj.

About this blog
Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Matt Mullin Sports Editor
Jonathan Tannenwald Sports Producer
Brian McCardle Sports Producer
Jerry Gaul Sports Producer
Vaughn Johnson Sports Producer
Justin Klugh Sports Producer
Michael Kaskey-Blomain Assistant Sports Producer
Latest Videos:
Also on Philly.com:
Stay Connected