So it's Christmas Eve, and you would think that if there was any time of year when people would be nice to each other, it would be right now.
Former Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens doesn't see the world that way, it looks like.
(What a surprise.)
Owens did an ad recently for the Hardee's/Carl's Jr. chain of hamburger fast-food restaurants. As with just about every other fast food chain ever, this one decided it had to do a riff on the cheesesteak. Of course T.O. is the right pitchman for a "Philly Cheesesteak On A Burger," right?
Perhaps Hardee's (the Carl's Jr. half of the chain is based on the West Coast) thought it could slip this by us because there are no locations in or near Philadelphia. The closest franchise is on a highway in Bear, Del., a few miles south of Newark.
But no, Hardee's, you've been caught. You've been caught trying to con people into thinking that a meat sandwich with green and red peppers under melted cheese on a pale-as-snow roll is a cheesesteak.
And you, T.O., have been caught as well. Lounging around on a pool deck SoCal with your sandwich that has two different colors of cheese on it.
(Let's not mince words here. That thing is a sandwich. It insults burgers and cheesteaks to call the creation either of those things.)
We here in Philadelphia know what's real, whether in football or sandwiches. And that thing you're taking a bite out of is definitely not real.
(Though we'll give you the claim of having a "love-hate relationship" with Philly. That was real. If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people feel the same way about you. And Drew Rosenhaus.)
But here in Philadelphia, T.O., we're better than petty sniping from a pool deck chair. We believe in being nice to people, even people who make ridiculous spectacles of themselves and embarrass their football teams and their fans. Because it's the holiday season, and it's just the right way to be.
So Merry Christmas to you, T.O., and your pool deck, and Hardee's/Carl's Jr., and its monstrosity of a sandwich, and Drew Rosenhaus.
But please, for the rest of you reading this, avoid that sandwich at all costs. And if you ever hear a clerk at a Hardee's tell you "Next question" when placing an order, let us know so we can shame them, too.