Usain Bolt finally caught by photographer on segway

It didn't seem like anyone would ever catch Usain Bolt.

Streaking down running lanes like a meteor, his ability to take the human body to new velocities has been unmatched by rivals for a generation. His legs seem to have been touched by the gods; his name indicates he is some sort of "Chosen One" in the running community, and his audience spans the entire planet.

Anyways. He was cut down by a photographer on a segway.

Yes, some poor man couldn't wrangle his beast of a segway at speeds of 1-2 mph and plowed right into the international icon of moving very fast. Bolt, who had been waving to the crowd after winning a gold medal at the World Athletic Championships in Beijing, somersaulted, got up, and appeared to smile and gesture reassuringly to the photographer. Later, however, Bolt hinted to the press that a far more sinister conspiracy may be afoot:

"He tried to kill me, I don't know what was going on."