Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Sixers are 'Breaking Bad'

Albuquerque, New Mexico was the home of the television greatness that was Breaking Bad. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is home to the 76ers, who are just bad.

The Sixers are 'Breaking Bad'

Sam Hinkie (AP Photo/Matt Rourke, File) and Walter White (Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC)
Sam Hinkie (AP Photo/Matt Rourke, File) and Walter White (Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC)

Albuquerque, New Mexico was the home of the television greatness that was Breaking Bad. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is home to the 76ers, who are just bad.

Breaking Bad came to its dramatic conclusion a few weeks back, just as the Sixers were getting ready to kick off their struggle of a season. Watching Vince Gilligan’s small-screen masterpiece was extremely enjoyable, while watching the Sixers this season will likely be quite the opposite. Still, some similarities exist between the two.

If you are unfamiliar with Breaking Bad, then this post may not make much sense, but if you’ve ever heard Jesse Pinkman exclaim, “yeah,  bitch!” then it may make some sense.

Without further ado:

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Sam Hinkie is Walter White:

The evil genius. Like Walt, Sam is neither in the meth business or the money business, but rather in the business of building the Sixers into a basketball empire. Taking a page out of Heisenberg’s book, Hinkie values secrecy. He keeps his activities under wraps, and likes to keep people in the dark, even those who his decisions have a direct impact on. Frustrated Sixer fans pined for information during the summer’s elongated coaching search, just as Skylar scoured for facts after Walt inadvertently referred to his second cell phone.  The Sixers seem to have done pretty well for themselves with Brett Brown. Now if only Hinkie can make his product as desirable as Walt did.

Brett Brown is Skylar White:

Brett Brown was not privy to the plan when Sam Hinkie initially took over and blew up the team, just as Skylar was equally uninvolved when Walt first purchased the infamous RV and baked up his first batch. But, just because the plan didn’t begin with them, doesn’t mean they don’t play a crucial part.

When Skylar finally found out about Walt’s illegal activities she was appalled, and adamantly opposed, refusing to even live under the same roof as him. Brown, while not coming to terms with a drug-dealing significant other, had doubts of his own when it came to joining the Sixers, and waited several days before accepting the offer. Slowly but surely, they both came around, with Skylar funneling money into the A1A carwash, and Brett Brown funneling low risk/high reward ‘assets’ in and out of the Philedelphia College of Orthopedic Medicine gym. While neither Brett Brown or Skylar White were the masterminds behind the big picture, they both play an important part in the plan.

Dell Demps, and the rest of the league’s front office executives are Jesse Pinkman:

Hinkie will try to outthink and out-maneuver the league’s front office exec’s, using them for his own advantage when the opportunity presents itself. Though moves may be disguised as beneficial for both sides, like Walt and Jesse’s 50/50 partnership, in the end they are made with Hinkie and the Sixers’ best interests in mind (see: Jrue Holiday trade). Just as Walt utilized Jesse to leverage his own operation, Hinkie will use the league’s office executives to help build the Sixers up from the bottom.

The fan base is Walter Jr.:

Emotionally attached, yet still not completely aware what is going on, and uncertain of the future.

Hopefully the Sixers season ends slighter better for those involved than Breaking Bad did.

Michael Kaskey-Blomain Assistant Sports Producer
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Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

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