Super Bowl XLVIII to allow the kind of strict, 'closely monitored' tailgating everyone loves

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Not happening. (PRNewsFoto/Virgin America)

If you thought having the Super Bowl in a location that traditionally has less than optimal weather in February was a great idea, then you're going to love the way Super Bowl XLVIII got even less fun.

Tailgating would be alloed, they explained before. Just in a "modified capacity," a pair of words that evoke images of an atmosphere of good times.

Like any sports fan, you look forward to sitting in your car before the game, quietly sipping a beer and eating a sandwich by yourself. And the authorities in beautiful Secaucus, New Jersey understood that when they wrote the tailgating rules for the Super Bowl:

"You will be allowed to have food in your car and have drink in you car," Kelly said. "And provided you're in the boundaries of a single parking space, you'll be able to eat or drink right next to your car. However you're not going to be able to take out a lounge chair, you're not going to be able to take out a grill and you're not going to be able to take up more than one parking space. And it'll all be watched very carefully."

Ha ha, see? They really get what makes things fun. Nothing says "fun at the Super Bowl" like a luke warm beer being drank by your lonesome, with a police officer nearby to scream at you should you step outside of your designated parking spot.

Wait, before you say, "Hey, those things don't sound fun at all." just check out this list of ways you can't get to the Super Bowl!

- Parking far away and walking

- Getting dropped off

- Taxi

- Limo

Truthfully, there are only three ways to get to the stadium: the NJ Transit, a Fan Bus that costs $51, or parking in one of the less than 13,000 spots. If you arrive in a car, than whatever car it is has to stay for the duration of the game.

In fact, the CEO of the Super Bowl committee thinks this is so wacky he's calling it the "public transportation Super Bowl," a nickname so wild and crazy you can absolutely a guy who put a ban on everything but the most rigid, un-fun tailgating came up with it.

The event will be feature an amount of New Jersey Department of Transportation employees that is "the same level they do for a weather emergency."

Which also, there may be a weather emergency. Because it's New Jersey in February.

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