Sixers loss among history's worst

"Don't look, Michael. Just... don't look." (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)

- For the second time in two nights, and therefore the second time in human history, an NBA team lost by 40+ points. That team.... was your Philadelphia 76ers.

- The New Orleans Pelicans came back from a season of unsolicited notes on their level of terror their mascot created, and they have an answer - surgery!

- Also, the Pelicans now play in the Smoothie King Arena, a name so unintimidating, they might actually be making Pierre the Pelican even MORE terrifying via surgery in order to balance things out.

- If Pittsburgh Pirates minor leaguers are to be believed, than Tracy McGrady is on his way to a legendary pitching career. The Sugar Land Skeeters are in the business of making dreams come true. Maybe you should tryout too.

- Well, we lost to Canada in snowboarding. I mean, I guess that's to be expected. I guess that's how they get from moose to moose up there.

- And later, when the soccer player learned that scoring goals was a good thing, the sport just made a lot more sense.

- Spectacular timinng in the sports world for former Phillies prospect Jarred Cosart to tweet something like this.

- In other news, Bob Costas' recovery from pink eye is, um. Ongoing.

- You know what cures the pink eye, don'tcha? Why, a little Russian courage, I do believe. Down the hatch, Costas.

- What if you had an NFL jersey. And what if you couldn't ever... take it off? Josh Gordon of the Browns is literally going to find out.