ESPN can hardly wait to see what Chip Kelly has in store for the NFL with the revamped Eagles, which is why the Birds’ opener in Washington will be the 2013-14 debut of Monday Night Football.
With the NFL releasing this season’s schedule, we’ve now got the goods on the Eagles’ week-to-week activities; when they’ll play the Giants (weeks five and eight), when they’ll play the Cowboys (weeks seven and 17), when they won’t be playing at all and we’ll be forced to spend the weekend interacting with people.
So what’s Andy Reid’s schedule look like? Not that we care, at all.
...but what is it, though.
Oh, look at that – Reid will come crawling back to Philadelphia in week three with his Chiefs. I mean, who cares? They don’t even look good together.
But we should practice extra hard. That week. To look good.
HAMBURGERS GONNA HAMBURG
Restaurant web site Eater took on the daunting task of sampling burgers from all across the United States, judged them according to quality, then took several styles into account and made sure to spread selections out geographically, and then announced which American restaurants were featuring burgers they could deem “essential.”
Also, it might be pointed out that this burger is not a cheese steak. So maybe the producers of TV sports programming coming back from commercial could give some other food a turn.
LET’S DO SOME SCIENCE
The Philadelphia Science Festival kicked off last night with the tapping of Yards’ Pythagorean Beerum, and will continue to thrill us with wild ideas for the next 10 days – ideas like snakes being “fascinating” and not “horrifying.”
The events continue today with a lecture on how video games, while fun/infuriating, can also serve productive purposes, like cultivating interaction with children on the autism spectrum.
And then, after proving how video games are far more than an expensive novelty, people will play Pong on the side of the Cira Centre.
Cole Hamels threw his first strong performance last night, but the Phillies still didn’t win, leading us to conclude that it was all Cole Hamels’ fault, somehow.
The Cheesesteak has offered us what will have to work as a reason this time: Hamels’ face.
The notably hairless space between his nose and his mouth, specifically, is the issue. Hamels arrived from spring training weeks ago sporting a handsome face-stache that gave the perpetually slim-framed Californian a sense of authority and danger; like you were recognizing him from a Youtube video where a cop tasers somebody illegally.
Once the season began, Cole did away with the mustache, and has suffered two debilitating starts since. The Cheesesteak has generated a petition for him to grow it back and return to the dominant ace he was for those glorious few days before the season, during which he did not pitch at all.