Thursday, April 17, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Raul Ibanez defies logic, gods

Raul Ibanez defies logic, gods

Yesterday was the Fourth of July, and you know what that means!

Now it’s the fifth of July, so you know what that means!

Nothing.  Nothing special.

Well, we are all still watching Living Legend Raul Ibanez play baseball. So there's that.

Other than that unfortunate playoff run with the Yankees, is there a more fun player to watch hit clutch home runs than Raul Ibanez? Assuming you're done hoping the Phillies save the forests.

At this point, after another home run last night, his power and clutchness seem to spit in the face of the gods.

He didn't, though.

IF YOU AIN'T FIRST, YOU'RE LAST

Speaking of cool guys, Sports Illustrated has a feature on famed NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby's rise to driving prominence and fall into water pipe salesmanship.

You probably remember Ricky Bobby and his teammate Cal Naughton, Jr. from this series of super helpful PSAs they did a few years back. The "wild dogs" segment was especially helpful outside Citi Field.

NATIONAL PRIDE

The Nationals' season isn't going as planned, to the point that the once pompous Davey Johnson has been reduced to antics from horror movies.

The most recent Washington lineup was composed by a ouija board, which you probably remember from that movie you saw about sexy teens being slaughtered by a vengeful spectre who was killed to death for being a murderer or whatever.

The Nationals are probably just resorting to quirky, hilarious tactics to keep things loose, and definitely not plummeting into the depths of insanity.

''I am going crazy,'' Johnson concluded.
--David Brown, Big League Chew

ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS

Hey, you all love Ben Roethlisberger, so you'll want to hear that he's making a record-breaking amount of money. The $70 Million+ he's making of his $100 million deal makes him the first player to do so in league history.

And adds to the plethora of reasons to really root for Ben Roethlisberger this season.

What a cool guy.

THIS TIME THEY'E HUNTING THE ZOMBIES

The most important aspect of Hollywood in the modern age is that Danny Trejo keeps getting work, whether it's as "henchman #7," "knife guy," "severed head riding desert tortoise," or a priest in a movie called Zombie Hunter.

Throw in a cast of unknowns, some weird goo, and dubstep - always dubstep - and you've got this.

Justin Klugh Sports Producer
About this blog
Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Matt Mullin Sports Editor
Jonathan Tannenwald Sports Producer
Brian McCardle Sports Producer
Jerry Gaul Sports Producer
Vaughn Johnson Sports Producer
Justin Klugh Sports Producer
Michael Kaskey-Blomain Assistant Sports Producer
Mare McKeever Assistant Sports Producer
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