Here in Philadelphia, we don't have time to know how terrible things are for our sports teams. So let's take a second for a succinct recap of all the things that are happening in the form of a single tweet for each team.
Then, we can get back to sobbing into our hands.
Sixers have a draft selection to make in three days, and we get Adam Aron controversy and Bynum attending Formula One races all day.
— Chris Naylor (@chris_naylor42) June 25, 2013
Ilya Bryzgalov, the millionaire goalie who won't have to work for the next 14 years.
— K Marchen (@KMarchen) June 25, 2013
We r so good
— Phillies Bullpen (@PhilsBullpen) June 25, 2013
With the state of the other three, this feels more like an ominous warning.
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) June 25, 2013
Makes you feel really, really bad for whatever terrific cataclysm is about to upend the Union.
— Philadelphia Union (@PhilaUnion) June 25, 2013
Be careful out there, Jack McInerney, because there's probably a grand piano on a string teetering above your head.