The Nationals have some nerve.
First, they try to keep us out of their park. Then, they do nothing but insult us. Then, they get upset just because Cole Hamels hit Bryce Harper in the spine for no reason.
Now, they’re coming into our stadium, hitting tons of home runs, and braining our fans.
It’s like what did we ever do to you, other than all of that well-documented stuff we did.
AN ANNIVERSARY OF VIOLENCE
Remember when you were "actually good at video games?"
7-Eleven, the convenience store that brought you Shaq’s face on a can, is proud to celebrate their official holiday today, one would assume.
— 7-Eleven, Inc. (@7eleven) July 7, 2013
But wait, before you say “Who honestly cares even a little,” remember that 7-Eleven day means free slurpees for everyone. So get out there and slurp one down with your favorite celebrities: that girl who was on TV but isn’t anymore, that guy from The Gong Show, and, yeah, Shaq.
Dwight Howard had stated that “the offense” and “coaching” were chief reasons he wanted to escape from Los Angeles, but it turns out these are just reasons that make the real reason sound less whiny.
The Lakers has apparently appealed to Howard’s ego, and told him he was just a season or two away from inheriting Kobe Bryant’s role as the face of the franchise. Then, SOMEHOW, the Lakers overlooked that maybe Kobe, a guy who REALLY REALLY LIKES TO PLAY BASKETBALL WELL, may not just retire because it would be the best thing for the Lakers’ narrative.
"How can it be Kobe's team and Dwight's team?" Howard asked, while sitting under a tree on a rainy day and gazing wistfully out over the still waters of a lake.
Okay, there’s a lot of excitement and chaos with the whole Biogenesis thing and MLB’s incoming suspensions, so let’s all squeeze our stress balls and try to not to ...
Today is 2nd time in past couple of weeks that the Daily News' Bill Madden has written Alex Rodriguez will never play another game for Yanks
— Jimmy Traina (@JimmyTraina) July 11, 2013
... get too dramatic – oh come on guys.
WHY HAS NO ONE JUST DROP-KICKED HIM INTO THE SEA YET
Look, the important thing is, it’s 2013 and we don’t have to worry about a studio not feeling desperate enough to make another Chucky movie.