Monday, July 28, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Nats' Rendon brains Phillies fan

Nats' Rendon brains Phillies fan

The Nationals have some nerve.

First, they try to keep us out of their park. Then, they do nothing but insult us. Then, they get upset just because Cole Hamels hit Bryce Harper in the spine for no reason.

Now, they’re coming into our stadium, hitting tons of home runs, and braining our fans.

It’s like what did we ever do to you, other than all of that well-documented stuff we did.

[Crashburn Alley]

AN ANNIVERSARY OF VIOLENCE

Remember when you were "actually good at video games?"

*sigh*

SLURPADELPHIA

7-Eleven, the convenience store that brought you Shaq’s face on a can, is proud to celebrate their official holiday today, one would assume. 

But wait, before you say “Who honestly cares even a little,” remember that 7-Eleven day means free slurpees for everyone. So get out there and slurp one down with your favorite celebrities: that girl who was on TV but isn’t anymore, that guy from The Gong Show, and, yeah, Shaq.

HOWARD'S END

Dwight Howard had stated that “the offense” and “coaching” were chief reasons he wanted to escape from Los Angeles, but it turns out these are just reasons that make the real reason sound less whiny.

The Lakers has apparently appealed to Howard’s ego, and told him he was just a season or two away from inheriting Kobe Bryant’s role as the face of the franchise. Then, SOMEHOW, the Lakers overlooked that maybe Kobe, a guy who REALLY REALLY LIKES TO PLAY BASKETBALL WELL, may not just retire because it would be the best thing for the Lakers’ narrative.

"How can it be Kobe's team and Dwight's team?" Howard asked, while sitting under a tree on a rainy day and gazing wistfully out over the still waters of a lake.

DOUBLE JEOPARDY

Okay, there’s a lot of excitement and chaos with the whole Biogenesis thing and MLB’s incoming suspensions, so let’s all squeeze our stress balls and try to not to ...

... get too dramatic – oh come on guys.

WHY HAS NO ONE JUST DROP-KICKED HIM INTO THE SEA YET

Look, the important thing is, it’s 2013 and we don’t have to worry about a studio not feeling desperate enough to make another Chucky movie.

Justin Klugh Sports Producer
About this blog
Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Matt Mullin Sports Editor
Jonathan Tannenwald Sports Producer
Brian McCardle Sports Producer
Jerry Gaul Sports Producer
Vaughn Johnson Sports Producer
Justin Klugh Sports Producer
Michael Kaskey-Blomain Assistant Sports Producer
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