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Nationals' stadium catches on fire
What are you talking about? Everything is going great for the Washington Nationals.
What, this? Nah, Bryce Harper is fine. Look at him, counting to ten, remembering what his name is, head not filling with blood. As soon as he learns about walls, he'll be right as rain.
What, this? Please, everybody's at or under .500 these days, even the good teams. Especially the good teams.
What, this? Listen, Strasburg doesn't have control issues. That's the whole reason we made him skip the playoffs last year, so he could save up a bunch of that awesome talent, then use it all at once and be even more awesome. Yeah.
What, this? Hey, let me clue you in on a little baseball secret: stadiums catch on fire sometimes.