Mascots making cash money

The baseball mascot game is a harsh racket. Sure, it may look like they’re living it up at a child’s party or groundbreaking ceremony, but it turns out the reason they pull from an endless reservoir of sheer joy is that they’re making a cool $600 an hour for public appearances.

The good ones are, anyway.

Bernie Brewer makes about a third of that. And the Diamondbacks newest mascot looks like he really had to pinch pennies on a costume.

GO ON...

Zac Rinaldo has a very important message for you.

That is all.


Chris Johnson is so confident in the Titans winning the Super Bowl, some day, that he bought a SCUD missile full of tobacco and plans to smoke it while basking in victory.

Looks like Johnson's plan is nearing completion:

  • Purchase comically large cigar
  • ????????
  • Win sports championship


Honestly, if you haven’t removed former Patriots tight end and current murder suspect Aaron Hernandez from your product line yet, you are taking way, way too long to do so.

Panini, a company that manufactures trading cards and sticker books, will NOT be publishing an Aaron Hernandez sticker this season.


Anyone who finds the randomly selected Hernandez sticker in their book gets to go exchange it for a Tim Tebow one, making yet another event that requires people to go and exchange Hernandez for something.

Before this summer, I bet you never thought Aaron Hernandez would effect the gas levels in your car.


Phillies catching prospect Tommy Joseph 1. Found an awesome t-shirt and 2. Is just letting you know where you can pick it up.