- No. No one thought you were joking. This is no longer a joke.
- Remember to keep that dial on ESPN, your worldwide leader in Mike Napoli's beard-thoughts.
- Someone was a little generous to the Sixers in their updates Power Tankings. Sadly, annoyingly generous.
- Tip to any jackass waiting for their chance to hop the fence and run on the field: Don't go near Adam Jones. He is looking to shatter somebody's femur
- Go baseball! Form of: Early season statistical anomaly!
- Chances are, you won't hear anything about what a hot-dogging, arrogant player Alfonso Soriano is. And both baseball and life will go on.
- Derek, the UConn RA who did not want people celebrating the team's NCAA championship anywhere near him, is back to tell you how laid back and cool he really is. Fortunately for Derek, no UConn students behaved liked dumb-asses or anything.
- Retired slugger Frank Thomas has a new issue for baseball to look into, and he notified them in the always legitimate medium of tweets with incorrect capitalization and too many exclamation points.
- His game-winning dunk sabotaged by a rookie, when is LeBron finally going to get his, I ask you?!