Yankees fans are having a tough year. Derek Jeter is leaving them, and with only half a season left, they barely have time to tell him how great he is. They're running out of time! What if no one ever tells him?!
Then, there's the standings - the Yankees aren't on top of them. The AL East has become a battle between the Orioles and Blue Jays, something that even three years ago seemed like the preseason picks of a drunk person just pushing buttons.
But, here we are. The Yankees are suffering (aww), the Yankees fans are suffering (awwwww), and now, they can barely stay awake long enough to watch them.
That's where Andrew Robert Rector comes in. Caught on camera snoozing during an ESPN broadcast of a Red Sox-Yankees game, Rector was playfully chastised for falling asleep. Which is insane, as staying awake for an entire prime time Red Sox-Yankees game would be like foregoing a suspension chamber on a voyage to the next galaxy. By the end, you are a pale, freakish zombie, pulling your own hair out and eating it.
"Andrew Robert Rector sued Major League Baseball Advanced Media, ESPN New York, the New York Yankees, and ESPN announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk, in Bronx County Supreme Court. He demands $10 million in damages for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress."
The "false statements" Rector had a problem with?
- "Plaintiff is unintelligent and stupid individual."
- "Plaintiff is not worthy to be fan of the New York Yankee."
- "Plaintiff is a fatty cow that need two seats at all time and represent symbol of failure."
- "Plaintiff is a confused disgusted and socially bankrupt individual."
- "Plaintiff is confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankee."
- "Plaintiff is so stupid that he cannot differentiate between his house and public place by snoozing throughout the fourth inning of the Yankee game."