Saturday, February 13, 2016

Erik Kratz: turkey bacon spokesman

Erik Kratz: turkey bacon spokesman


The Phillies were already losing last night, and after Tom McCarthy's raucous tones led into another commercial break, channels changed across the valley. But those who stayed on the Phillies game were privy to some Phillies advertising fare new to 2013.

According to the company's web site, all you had to do was get a picture of the ad on TV and you won two free packs of turkey bacon so you could grow up big and strong and with less sodium like Erik Kratz.

A team's back-up catcher talking to a cartoon turkey dressed like a pig would most likely be new in most cities during most years. [But not every back-up catcher's father owns Godshall's Turkey Bacon]


Chase Utley can't do it all himself, the Phillies confirmed last night. The second baseman fell a double short of the cycle and probably left Turner Field with an undeserved sense of shame as the Phillies dropped their first game of the season, 7-5, to the thunderous Braves.

But as we squeeze the good parts out, Utley's performance made the biggest messes for Braves' pitching. He reached the bicentennial of home runs for his career, he looked like he'd been shot out of Cole Hamels and Cliff Lee's hot dog cannon while legging out a triple, and he came up with a clutch two-run single to drag the Phillies to within one.

As long as we're not hesitating to hammer the panic button after the loss, we can, with the same abrupt conclusiveness, also presume that Utley is fine and as long as we don't touch him, he won't break.

We can also assume that Hamels shaving his mustache and giving up three home runs are directly related.


The Sixers have brought in Jrue Holiday's brother, Justin, to distract us from the Andrew Bynum Conspiracy with awesome Holiday brothers shenanigans.

The Holidays maintain a storied history of fraternal brothers joining forces in the name of Philadelphia sports. Why, there's Ed and Tom Delahanty of the 1894 Phillies, Larry and Wayne Hillman of the 1969-71 Flyers, and Shawn and Stacy Andrews of the 2009 Eagles [Though Shawn was hurt all year and didn't technically "play" any "football."]

It'll be an entertaining nine meaningless games. Maybe. Probably not as entertaining as brothers on the same team can get.


Ramon Galloway will be departing a changed men's basketball program at La Salle, having taken the school on a ride this March that brought confidence and pride the Explorers hadn't experienced in decades.

This Thursday, he will leave them with one more memory: Dropping epic hammers at the Final Four dunk contest. To prepare you, here are 66 seconds of Ramon Galloway shaming opponents.

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