Saturday, July 26, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Diamondbacks really forcing it

"Star Wars Day is May 4th! That's the day we get that awesome joke about 'May the 4th being with you!' Nothing makes SENSE anymore!!"

Diamondbacks really forcing it

Now, I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right.

“Star Wars Day is May 4th!  That’s the day we get that awesome joke about May the 4th being with you!  Nothing makes sense anymore!!”

Dry your eyes, young Padawan.  The Diamondbacks knew damn well when Star Wars Day was and they decided to hold their own at Chase Field yesterday anyway, to the delight of fans and the bewildered concern of the umpiring crew.

HE'S EVERYWHERE

Did you miss Game Seven on the NBA Finals?  So did the Spurs.

Fortunately, Fangraphs’ Drew Sheppard was charitable enough to generate this time-saving .gif that combines all of LeBron James’ mindless heroics into a single image file.

Thanks, LeBron!

WHERE WAS THE DOG?

“When will the kid from Air Bud get the chance he deserves?!” the world asked.

This new movie, The Colony, has your answer, in the form of Laurence Fishburne and a grizzled Bill Paxton, in a shocking new film that dares to ask, “What if that thing that happened in a thousand other movies happened… in this one?”

Sometimes, it’s a viral outbreak or a chemical spill that causes the world’s population to turn into zombies.

The Colony shows us that turning into snarling, hyper-violent walking dead can be as easy as just getting hungry.  So the bar for losing all of your humanity has been lowered significantly. 

Fortunately, that was the part Bill Paxton was born to play.

PRETTY PUIG?

Dodgers’ young phenom Yasiel Puig is everything the Phillies aren’t: young, a phenom, and on the Dodgers. 

While it was fun watching Domonic Brown turn baseballs into dust for a while, Puig has been making a far superior argument for trendy young player of the year (his Baseball Reference page being sponsored by a guy simply named “I Love PUIG!!!”), to the point that the honor and majesty of the All-Star Game is soon to be his, despite a minimal amount of playing time (He’s played in 19 of the Dodgers’ 74 games).

National League manager Bruce Bochy of the Dodgers’ rival Giants, though, has expressed a desire to squash these sentiments, though Puig’s numbers at Wimbledon alone seem enough for contention.

Of course, why stop at just the All-Star Game?  Put Puig in the Home Run Derby, too – the Dodgers are 4-0 when he hits one.  Besides, think of all the money you’d win the guy whose preseason “NL Home Run Derby Squad” predictions actually fit this model:

Justin Klugh Sports Producer
About this blog
Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Matt Mullin Sports Editor
Jonathan Tannenwald Sports Producer
Brian McCardle Sports Producer
Jerry Gaul Sports Producer
Vaughn Johnson Sports Producer
Justin Klugh Sports Producer
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