Saturday, August 23, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Maple Leafs fall hard

Without much to turn to in the way of redemption things fittingly descended into chaos up north.

Maple Leafs fall hard

The Maple Leafs have been putting up a fight against the Bruins in the NHL playoffs’ opening rounds, but last night, the façade came crumbling down.  Up 4-1, Toronto somehow managed to let it all slip away, much like we can all remember Boston doing one magical year.

Without much to turn to in the way of redemption – the Blue Jays don’t seem to be any help and you know those zoo elephants aren’t going to be transferred any time soon – things fittingly descended into chaos up north.

Meanwhile, in Flyers news, Wayne Simmonds defeated Evgeni Malkin to move into the quarterfinals of the NHL ’14 cover contest.

It’s… like the playoffs.

SPRAINED ANKIEL

The Mets decided it was time for a change yesterday and brought in guy-who-wasn’t-on-the-team- before-and-is-technically-a-change Rick Ankiel.

Opinions on the matter were mixed between Mets fans, who want the Mets to be a good baseball team, and ESPN baseball enthusiast Tim Kurkjian, who thinks baseball is pretty neato, gang.

Things didn’t improve when Ankiel had to borrow a glove to play in the outfield, and then tried to use it to track a ball hit by Ty Wigginton.

KICK IN THE ASTROS

The Houston Astros, widely predicted to be baseball’s worst team, have only arguably been baseball’s worst team.  However, instead of laughing maniacally and hurling another puppy into his puppy-fueled hatred-making machine like Jeffrey Loria of the Marlins, the Astros' many problems have more of a sad ring to them and less of a cartoonishly evil one.

The Astros Wives Organization has worked to combat sadness for years in the Houston area. Even in the wake of the team’s poor performance, at least there was a facet of its existence that remained a positive influ

Oh.

GETTING IT RON 

As it has been announced, described, and giggled about since yesterday, Ron Swanson will be coming to Philadelphia in September. 

Contests already exist to win a seat, but what this really means is a chance to post “Swanson vs. Food,” a seven minute reminder of why Nick Offerman has made life more accommodating for cholesterol-Americans since the debut of “Parks and Recreation.” 

Justin Klugh Sports Producer
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Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Jonathan Tannenwald Sports Producer
Brian McCardle Sports Producer
Justin Klugh Sports Producer
Jerry Gaul Sports Producer
Vaughn Johnson Sports Producer
Michael Kaskey-Blomain Assistant Sports Producer
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