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Darin Ruf gives up home run from left field

The success of the 2013 Phillies is hinging on several specific issues. One is Roy Halladay, whose start this past weekend was supposed to be the indicator of his true status. Would he come out and dominate or give up double digit runs? The predictions went wild.

The outcome, "pitch one inning, barf, and leave," was not on any analyst's radar.

Another major talking point for the Phillies is Darin Ruf, whose massive offensive showcase all last year and into the winter was tumblr-inspiring, but the Phillies decided to push their luck and move the slow-moving first baseman to left field. Yesterday, left field was the scene of a crime against baseball, and the list of suspects was criminally short.

In other news, Delmon Young's rehab is moving along nicely, so soon we may be able to watch warped, fundamentally flawed defense in right field as well. The Phillies are nothing if not symmetrical. But you can understand why they wanted to distract us this morning with an awesome mystery.

Hey, it's still spring training. Even the umpires are still working things out.

GOOD-BYNUM

It's been a long year for Andrew Bynum.

First, he had to pack up all of his stuff in L.A. and get it to sent to the east coast. Then, somebody kept breaking into his house and butchering his hair, usually the night before a press conference. That's Philly for you! I guess.

Fortunately for Andrew, this exhausting, $24,239.98-a-minute year has finally come to an official end. Bynum's cheerleading season has concluded, as he makes room on his schedule for some double-arthroscopic knee surgery. However this all shakes out, it will undoubtedly aid his basketball-playing career by making him able to move laterally again.

A SUPER IDEA

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie opened himself up to endless punchlines yesterday by expressing his desire to host a Super Bowl in Philadelphia.

After coming close to playing in or even winning the Super Bowl for several years in the past decade, Lurie's dream is now to get his team geographically close to the Super Bowl, in hopes that by putting the two things in the same room, they will somehow combine with each other.

The timing couldn't be better; the NFL is taking a time out from the warm, inviting, early February climates of the southern and western United States in 2014, and has instead selected to hold the biggest event of the football season in East Rutherford, New Jersey (the forecast for which during the last Super Bowl was rainy, with a high of 30 degrees).

Just look at this footage from an early winter storm from several years ago in the same region.

Philadelphia already has its name in the running to host the 2024 Olympics, so the Super Bowl, at this point, should be child's play.

"Child's play" coincidentally being the most commonly used term to describe the Eagles' 2012-13 season.

YOU'RE FLYER-ED

The Flyers have entered the part of a disappointing season where job security becomes the first topic of conversation. The crosshairs were initially over head coach Peter Laviolette, but now seem to have drifted to general manager Paul Holmgren.

It was Holmgren who informed us that Lavy's job was not threatened, but with the latest questions being about the GM himself, we are forced to turn to the input of an "anonymous source" to get the latest news.

Apparently, Holmgren isn't going anywhere, either.

Following this pattern, we can assume that rumors will soon be circulating that the Flyers' anonymous source  is on the hot seat, according to Peter Laviolette.