Charles Barkley is a man with a dream. Or at least, he was.
Charles appeared on Conan O’Brien’s final show in Atlanta last night, announcing several rather normal Charles Barkley things: that he wants to be a general manager, that he thinks Michael Jordan is only handsome because he’s rich, that Conan likes Appletinis, etc.
But when he revealed that it is a fantasy of his to broadcast alongside ESPN legend Dick Vitale, Conan obliged the man who’d just called him “the Appletini type,” and brought out Vitale to analyze a dunking contest between increasingly bizarre mascots.
It was weird.
RISE OF PONG
The Cira Center by 30th Street Station is usually the ultra-sleek, modern cast off of the Philadelphia skyline. From the right angle, the cluster of Center City's "cool kid" high rises look like they're purposefully excluding poor Cira.
The building will undoubtedly feature a Phillies logo in the coming weeks, distracting highway drivers with its glowing majesty, but during Philly Tech Week (April 20-27), the structure will be showcasing a huge game of Pong.
That's right. Gamers drawn from an online pool will have the chance to turn the side of the Cira Center into a 12" TV in their parents' basement in the '70s, courtesy of Dr. Frank Lee of the Drexel University Computer Science Department. A lo-fi ball will be bounced between two enormous paddles as... well, you know how Pong is played.
HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE
Last season, it was July 1 and the Phillies had lost 46 times before Cliff Lee notched his first victory. This year, the Phillies have really turned things around, as last night Cliff pitched his way to a 2-0 victory on April 4, when the Phillies had only lost twice.
But none of that matters, as the real games begin now; real as in, people will see them and know about them, as opposed to being played in Atlanta.
Now it’s the Phillies turn to have a home opener, which means all the standard fare; a trolley whizzing around town as the Phanatic dances on it, local eateries transforming their menus, and people folding their arms and grumbling about ticket prices and how watching at home is better because it means no bathroom lines.
Meanwhile, the weather should be not terrible as the potential for another Citizens Bank Park sellout streak begins (but a real one, this time). They are opening against the Royals, a factor that everyone seems to find completelyunfathomable and absurd, but I assure you, the Royals are there to play a baseball game too, not run around screaming and weirding everybody out with their creepy American League Central vibes.
SHOW SOME HUSTLE
The miserable headlines illustrating the Sixers’ fall from the middle haven’t changed much since the beginning of the year, only now they include the word “still.” Nevertheless, they have eight games to play; only two of which take place at the Wells Fargo Center, which means the WFC workers only have to look forward to doing this two more time this season.
Only they don’t get to do it in fast motion.