Finally, the Eagles are back! No more subpar Phillies. Forget about the tanking Sixers. Stop worrying about the stagnant Flyers. It's all about Chip Kelly, Nick Foles and Sundays glued to the TV.
So what do you tell a crying, lonely Phanatic?
Submit your best ideas in the comments below, and use our cool Disqus commenting system to up-vote the captions you think should win (works better than telling me the ones I pick are terrible). You can tweet me suggestions, too - @RobTornoe. I'll pick the best and announce the results on Sunday.
Check out previous winners here.