Bryce Harper is starting to comprehend walls

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Harper and his oldest nemesis. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)

Bryce Harper is starting to put this “baseball” thing together.

Weeks after promising he was going to let baseball kill him, following an incident in which he ran face first into a metal fence and bloodied himself, Harper has admitted to slowing down his act a bit.

Gregor Blanco knocked the ball over Harper’s head last night, heading straight for his old arch nemesis – the wall. Suddenly, Harper was faced with a decision: Track the ball and make a game-saving play, despite an injury risk – or resist the urge to smash his face on things.

The debate lasted mere seconds, and ended with him doing a weird… hopping… thing… and fielding the ball off the wall.

“I don’t want to hit the frickin’ wall full-on,” Harper said.  That’s not something two-weeks-go Bryce Harper would have said.

You’ve changed, Bryce.  And so have the Nationals. They’ve gone from Definitely Going to the World Series to Only One Game Above the Phillies.

Meanwhile, Mike Trout hit for the cycle without sustaining any facial damage.

GOAT EMBODIES SPIRIT OF AMERICAN WORKER

Some days, you’re riding the bus to work, and you just think, “What if I got off at the next stop and left it all behind?  What if I just ran away?”

It is probably a comfort to know you have the same thoughts as a goat whose escape plan shut down a bridge in New Jersey. Of course, your morning bus commute isn’t headed for a slaughterhouse, so it’s safe to say that she had a little more on the line.

VICK WINNING 'BEST FRIENDS' PORTION OF TRAINING CAMP

Michael Vick may not be getting as many snaps as Nick Foles, or running the new offense as well, but he is bonding with Chip Kelly in a way that very visually takes Foles out of the picture.

Just a couple of guys, hanging out at an NFL training camp, forging lifelong friendships, pretending Nick Foles isn’t standing behind them, watching his car get stolen out of the parking lot.

[h/t Vick via Facebook]

GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT

Cole Hamels may not be ready to talk to the press just yet, but he is ready to communicate with us via shirts.

See, Cole knows he needs to grow the mustache back. He even made a shirt about it.

People are more inclined to want to help a guy with a mustache. It’s just science.

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