Friday, February 12, 2016

Brewers pat you on shoulder, give you ten bucks

A lot of things are below average about the Brewers: Their record, a lot of their batting averages - but they're not all bad. Parking at Miller Park is almost five dollars less than the national ballpark average of $13.88.

Brewers pat you on shoulder, give you ten bucks

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Boy, that is some metaphorical juxtaposition. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)
Boy, that is some metaphorical juxtaposition. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

A lot of things are below average about the Brewers: Their record, a lot of their batting averages - but they're not all bad. Parking at Miller Park is almost five dollars less than the national ballpark average of $13.88. 

And the Brewers lead the league in players who've been caught in MLB's Biogenesis Justice Net.

That's actually what they want to talk to you about.

Brewers fans, this team isn't about cheating or liars, or withstanding the vitriol of self-proclaimed guardians of baseball, or wherever you've landed in this Ryan Braun debacle. They're about baseball, and they want you to continue enjoying it in Milwaukee.

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They want you to enjoy it so badly that they're willing to give you a $10 voucher to spend at the stadium.

Go ahead, take it. You can even combine the vouchers to form a voltron of free goods. All in all, this will cost the Brewers $3.6 million.

For reference, here are 2013 prices at Miller Park:

 

  • Hot dog: $3.50
  • Beer: $6
  • Soda: $2.50
  • Parking:  $9
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