Sunday, December 28, 2014

Battery ad targets Philly fans

In the pantheon of Philly fan transgressions, throwing batteries at J.D. Drew is in rarified air along with booing Santa Claus and intentionally vomiting on other fans.

Battery ad targets Philly fans

Phillies fans make noise at Citizens Bank Park. (Clem Murray/Staff file photo)
Phillies fans make noise at Citizens Bank Park. (Clem Murray/Staff file photo)

In the pantheon of Philly fan transgressions, throwing batteries at J.D. Drew is in rarified air along with booing Santa Claus and intentionally vomiting on other fans.

Today, on the anniversary of Drew's debut in Veterans Stadium, the daily deal site Woot! capitalized on this by offering a deal on rechargeable batteries targeted at the discerning Phillies fan:

Gotta love Philly fans!

Great to power your devices, or power your passion for athletics!

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For most of us, this is simply a great opportunity to stock up on some rechargeable batteries to power our electronics and other stuff. But for our users in Philadelphia, it's something so much more. 

See, Phillies season is in full swing, and the Eagles will be taking the field soon enough. You know what that means? There are a lot of opposing teams coming through town, so it's time to stock up on some stuff to heave at them!

Now, you might be thinking, why rechargeable batteries? Why not the cheapest, crappiest batteries you can find? As long as they're hard and hurt when they make contact, right?

Well, that's where you're wrong! Throwing any lame batteries shows them that you're angry. Throwing rechargeable batteries shows that you've taken your rage to a whole new level! You're sending a message to that opposing players; you're saying, "I could've recharged these things 100s of times and kept using them over and over, but instead, I chose to forgo practicality and employ them only once, for the purpose of pelting you. Such is my hatred for your team!"

Honestly, it's what they deserve. Seriously! How dare THEY come to YOUR stadium for a SCHEDULED game! THE NERVE!

You can buy the deal and comment on the promotion here.

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Pattison Ave. offers an eclectic mix of news and nuggets about Philadelphia sports and beyond. Live chats, analysis, random thoughts, viral videos, odds and ends -- you'll find it all here.

Jonathan Tannenwald Sports Producer
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