Thursday, May 28, 2015

49ers invite fans to get into Jim Harbaugh's pants

- Tom Brady feels 'great,' everyone. It turns out good-looking people can just charm viruses right out of their bodies. Which must be nice.

49ers invite fans to get into Jim Harbaugh's pants

Tom Brady feels 'great,' everyone. It turns out good-looking people can just charm viruses right out of their bodies. Which must be nice.

- Meanwhile, now's probably your best chance to get in Jim Harbaugh's pants.

- Dwight Howard and Steven Adams dance routine is going awesome.

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Sixers' odds for winning again this year not looking great

- Then the Rockets somehow scored only 19 points in the entire second half.

- Team U.S.A.'s hockey squad took a hit before the Olympic games even begin in Sochi, Russia, as goalie Jessie Vetter was forced to remove quotations from the Constitution from his helmet. I mean WHY EVEN HAVE AN AMERICA NOW.

- C.C. Sabathia must have seen former teammate Robinson Cano's lucrative deal with the Mariners, garnered by new agent Jay-Z, and suddenly made some important life decisions.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa; where do you think you're going? There's still four different teams to hate in the NFL playoffs.

- STOP TRYING TO MAKE 'SLEEVES' A THING, NBA, WE'RE ALL PRETTY IRRATIONALLY UPSET BY THEM sorry for shouting so much this morning.

- A-Rod says of his MLB-imposed ban, he was ready to take a break anyway, so this is all probably part of his plan. He's like a supervillain of headlines.

- Remember when they wanted Chris Johnson to race a cheetah? Yeah, he was fast. Anyways, the Titans cut him now.

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