Jets tight end Kellen Winslow got lost looking for Boston Market, and the next thing he knew, he was formally charged with "lewdness."
Back in September, a woman was parking in a Target parking lot when she noticed the windows were down in the black Cadillac Escalade next to her, in which, according to her, a man was masturbating. The report, via NJ.com:
"As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account."
Police showed up, didn't see the man's genitals but did see open containers of Vasoline and some plastic bags labeled "Mr. Happy" and "Funky Monkey." Upon being asked what he was doing, Winslow said he was looking for Boston Market but couldn't find it.
Winslow admitted he'd smoke marijuana from the bags at his home, and allowed officers to search his car. Afterward, he was free to go.
Lab tests came back in late December, proving Winslow had possessed synthetic marijuana, and on the 30th, his formal charges included "lewdness," though it hadn't been mentioned at the scene.