Thursday, July 30, 2015

Headless specter just wants Cardinals, Red Sox to play their hardest

+ Ha ha yeah go CardinOH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

Headless specter just wants Cardinals, Red Sox to play their hardest

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+ Ha ha yeah go CardinOH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

+ As usual, the Cardinals couldn't get David Ortiz out, who entered last night's Game 5 with a .727 batting average in the World Series. Late in the game, they finally got him to stop hitting RBI doubles, and a fanbase breathed easy.

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+ Hey St. Louisians, it's the first Monday Night Football game in your town since 2006, and the timing couldn't be better! Get excited!

+ Jon Lester's Awful Green Thing on the inside of his glove was GONE last night, which explained why he was only able to go 7.2 innings with 7 strikeouts while allowing one run on four hits.

You CHEATER.

+ A paper airplane floated onto the Busch Stadium field last night, and that's it. That's what happened. Naturally, this ENTERTAINED MILLIONS.

+ Mets reliever LaTroy Hawkins was on his way to dove hunting expedition in South America, when he was forced to help subdue an unruly passenger on the plane. Which isn't saving a kid after an anaconda attack, but still okay I guess.

+ If you had eight dollars, you could get into last night's Seahawks-Rams game, but why do that when you can have eight of your very own dollars.

+ Another reason to skip Monday Night Football this week - other than the awful football game - was that the embodiment of cinematic evil was stalking one of the coaches.

Sports Producer
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