Last week: 4-8-2
We'll get back to the full version of picks next week, but I'm going to try profootballtalk-style one-liners for Sunday's games. Here we go...
Raiders at Saints: From Tom Cable's Wikipedia page:
Tom Cable was the head coach at the University of Idaho, his alma mater from 2000-2003. At Idaho, Cable compiled a record of 11-35 (.239) in four straight losing seasons. Idaho did not renew Cable's contract at the conclusion of the 2003 season, and he was quickly replaced by Nick Holt. Five of Cable's losses at Idaho were to lower Division I-AA schools, while one of his wins was against a I-AA school.
The pick: Raiders (+7)
Bengals at Jets: Right after my fantasy draft, when I realized I picked five Bengals (Carson Palmer, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Chris Perry, Kenny Watson and Shayne Graham), I should have quit the league. 1-4 record after five weeks in case you're wondering.
The pick: Jets (-9)
Panthers at Bucs: Time for C-Nast's weekly recap of The Office. If you haven't watched it yet, or don't care, skip to the next pick...
Of course, with the Phillies in the NLCS, you’re given a pass if you ignored Thursday night’s episode of “The Office.” Here’s what you missed while watching Cole Hamels beat L.A.:
What happened: Michael’s relationship with Holly, surprisingly, progressed. The two performed a “Let’s Get Ethical” song-and-dance during an office ethics meeting, shared a “business-romantic lunch,” and worked together to solve a company dilemma involving Meredith’s business “transactions.”
Jim and Pam announced their engagement to the office, and Dwight and Angela are still busy with more than just paper sales (19 minutes and 48 seconds worth during one meeting, according to Jim’s stopwatch.)
Grade: B – Some classic stuff from Michael (“You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. You need to be Robin Shyamalan.”), but there wasn’t enough Dwight or Andy material to make this a great episode.
Quote of the Week, from Andy: “I’ll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family? Boom!”
The pick: Bucs (-1.5)
Lions at Vikings: Forgive me if I'm not ready to buy the Vikings even after last week's Monday night win over the Saints. And yes I know the Lions stink. And yes, I know Dan Orlovsky might start at quarterback, but...
The pick: Lions (+13)
Bears at Falcons: We are now officially living in a world where Kyle Orton has a higher quarterback rating than Peyton Manning.
The pick: Falcons (+3)
Dolphins at Texans: When a team blows a game the way the Texans did last week at Indy, it's probably wise to pick against them and assume things aren't going their way.
The pick: Dolphins (+3)
Rams at Redskins: If there's any sense to the way the NFL works, Clinton Portis should run for about 260 yards.
The pick: Redskins (-13.5)
Ravens at Colts: Time for MC's pick of the week. MC's record: 2-3...
The Colts could easily be 0-4 and the Ravens could be 4-0. Ravens' defense carries them in this one.
The pick: Ravens (+4)
Jaguars at Broncos: The Broncos scored 34 points or more in each of the first three weeks. They've scored 35 total in the last two games. Look for more success this week.
The pick: Broncos (-3.5)
Eagles at 49ers: This would be a good time to remind you that I'll be hosting a live chat during this game Sunday afternoon. Having watched the Birds so closely over the first five weeks, I really can't pick them to cover a 4.5-point line against anyone.
The pick: 49ers (+4.5)
Cowboys at Cardinals: Tank Johnson talks about Pacman Jones:
"I never was a bad person," Johnson said. "I just got caught for a lot of dumb stuff. You don't have to change your life very much, but you have realize that people are watching."
The pick: Cowboys (-4.5)
Packers at Seahawks: Don't know about you, but I'm not ready to pick Charlie Frye to cover.
The pick: Packers (+1)
Patriots at Chargers: The Patriots are trying to figure out life without Tom Brady. The Chargers are trying to figure out life without Tom Brady. Not exactly the matchup NBC visioned at the beginning of the season for Sunday night football.
The pick: Chargers (-5)