Week 5 NFL picks

Last week: 9-4
Overall: 38-21-1

Colts at Texans

When did Julius Jones get this jacked? (Elaine Thompson / AP)

This falls into the "If I would have told you this before the season, there's no way you would have believed me category." The Colts need a win against Houston to get to 2-2 and they are only a three-point favorite. Let's bank on the return of center Jeff Saturday giving the Colts' running game a boost. By the way, ever play that game with your friends where you ask "What song would you come up to if you were a major league hitter?" I imagine it's easy for Saturday to answer. I picture him lumbering to the plate in a uniform that barely fits with Ludacris' "It's Saturday..." blaring in the background.

The pick: Colts (-3)

Titans at Ravens

Conventional wisdom says take Tennessee. Baltimore is coming off a heartbreaking loss on Monday night against the Steelers and had a short week. Plus Joe Flacco is going against a defense that's allowing a league-low 11.5 points per game. However, I'm not conventional and I'm far from wise. OK, that doesn't make any sense. It's been a long week. Let's just get to the pick...

The Pick: Ravens (+3)

Chargers at Dolphins

Time for MC's pick of the week. His record so far: 2-2...

Coming off a 21 point loss at Arizona and a 25 point win at New England, it's tough to predict what Miami team will show up. My guess is the New England game was a fluke. The Chargers have better talent in every facet of the game and look like they have rebounded from a tough 0-2 start.

It's important to note here that I have known MC since Kindergarten, and he has a somewhat streaky demeanor. Normally he's on a good streak, but he went through a stretch in college where his girlfriend broke up with him, he fell in a pool with his clothes/shoes on and a bird offered a present on his head. Why is this relevant? He's been right with his pick two weeks in a row. Betting the house on the Chargers might be a good idea.

The pick: Chargers (-6.5)

Chiefs at Panthers

I had to look up this stat to make sure it was true, and it is. Only one Chiefs receiver has more than three catches...ON THE SEASON. They've played four games! The Panthers, however, have the Saints and Bucs coming up in the next two weeks, and have not historically had much of a home-field advantage. Yup, it just happened. I talked myself into taking Damon Huard on the road. Revoke my picking license now.

The pick: Chiefs (+9.5)

Redskins at Eagles

Just found out that a potential Phils Game 4 would take place at 1:07 p.m. Sunday. Wonderful. Why would they do this to us? As for this game, the 'Skins were impressive last week against Dallas. And I'm genuinely frightened of Jim Zorn. Not in the coaching sense, but in the "if I accidentally bumped him on the subway" sense. I think the Eagles win, but I'm not comfortable with the line.

The pick: Redskins (+6)

Bears at Lions

My favorite part of last week's Eagles-Bears live chat was when I informed everyone that Kyle Orton's teammates have nicknamed him "Neckbeard." The comments started flying in. I can't believe we're losing to Neckbeard. We're making Neckbeard look like Joe Montana. Gotta get pressure on Neckbeard! And yes, I know I mention this nickname every week with the picks, but I like it that much. I'm predicting new energy from the Lions after the dismissal of Matt Millen. There's a 90 percent change I'll regret this.

The pick: Lions (+3.5)

Seahawks at Giants

I'm not sure if this is a mistake or if the Giants fans are still celebrating, but a headline on Newsday's Giants page reads: Giants stun Patriots to win Super Bowl. By the way, check out that picture of Julius Jones posted above. Has he always been this jacked? Has he been excused from the league's drug testing policies?

The pick: Seahawks (+7)

Bucs at Broncos

I was watching college football last week at a family outing. I forgot what game it was, but a team was backed up at its own goal line and almost completed a pass that would have gone 100 yards for a touchdown. If my memory serves me correctly, the play was called back for a penalty. A family friend, who's not a football fan, asked me "What's that called?" I realized it doesn't have a name, when a team goes the length of the field in one play, but it probably should. She suggested "The Sentinel" to which I responded "You mean, the Centennial?" Neither really works. But I'm taking suggestions on this.

The pick: Broncos (-3)

Patriots at 49ers

A Bill Belichick team coming off a 25-point home loss, with a bye week to prepare, has never lost. OK, I made that up. But I bet it's true if you look it up.

The pick: Patriots (-3)

Bills at Cardinals

We have Domo's chat at noon, which I'm moderating on philly.com so I'm mailing in the final four picks. I feel like I've really brought it this week though so I don't feel too bad about it. Hope you understand.

The pick: Cardinals (-1)

Bengals at Cowboys

The pick: Cowboys (-11.5)

Falcons at Packers

The pick: Packers (-5)

Steelers at Jaguars

The pick: Jaguars (-4)

Note: The Monday night game will be picked Monday. All lines are from sportsbook.com.