This article originally appeared on POPSUGAR
Even if they don't seem super involved in the wedding-planning process, grooms are going through the same life-changing experience as their brides-to-be. Enter: The Plunge. The site is dedicated to helping the engaged guy navigate his wedding from a man's point of view. We're giving our female audience a peek inside the mindset of a dude's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge.
For their third weekly installment (read their second post here!), they're sharing the unintentional ways you are annoying your fiancé while planning your wedding.
For us guys, there's no more powerless moment than when our significant other starts doing that horribly annoying thing she doesn't realize is the worst. Speak up and an argument starts. Hold back and the annoyance goes unchecked and reoccurs later.
It's even worse during wedding planning, when any perceived slight leads to the accusation that we aren't helping and have no right to complain, which is true, which means we're wrong, which is horrible. Luckily, Brides has promised our safety in exchange for our list of the most annoying things our brides-to-be do while wedding planning that we'll never mention. We're sure now that you know you're doing them you'll totally stop, right?
Starting Family Feuds: Yes, it's our wedding. Yes, you're the bride. No, my mother is never going to stay out of it — just ask my therapist. We sympathize but we're trying to keep things happy between our two families, so if a sentence starts with, "Your mother" it better end with, "bought the blender off our registry." Otherwise, vent to a bridesmaid, coworker, or your own mother. Or do what we do: drink until you forget about it.
Seeking Our Approval on Every Little Detail: We trust you and the florist to make everything look pretty. Call us when it's time to taste cakes or plan one of the many things we actually are excited to help with.
Nothing: Psych! Nothing you do annoys us! We can all go home now.
Um, no. What we mean by "nothing" is it's annoying when you don't seem to be doing anything. Not because we want bridezilla in our bed (too pointy) but because if you don't seem constantly busy, we assume our wedding isn't being planned at all. We then assume we will have to plan it ourselves, and then (see above) we drink until we've forgotten to do so. All we ask for is a periodic update or request for help so we know things are moving along. We're happy to help, but if you tell us, "I'll take care of it," then we're going to assume you'll take care of it.
See More: Wedding Planning Tasks Guys Care About
Calling Us Up Crying: We signed up to be your lifelong sounding board, number one fan, unyielding supporter, and shoulder to cry on, so we don't just avoid bringing this up — we're not allowed to. But yeah, super annoying. Plus, there's no need for it. We know it seems like life-or-death in the moment, but choosing invitations or floral arrangements never killed anyone.
Not Putting Yourself First: This is an annoying thing you do, but it doesn't make you annoying. Watching you let everyone else have their say when it's supposed to be up to you doesn't just annoy us, it flat-out pisses us off. The only person who is allowed to drive you to the brink of a nervous breakdown is the same one who should be pulling you back to sanity: your fiancé.
This is the rare case where everyone would be better off if we men pointed out the annoying thing you're doing. So in case we forget to speak up, just know that we always have your back, in the end we want you to be happy, and we're willing to tell off either one of our moms to make sure you get your way.
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