Sunday, September 21, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

9 myths about cheating

Nobody likes to be cheated on. What's even worse are the reasons you go over and over again in your head as to why your partner cheated. AskMen shares the top cheating myths that every man should know about.

9 myths about cheating

Nobody likes to be cheated on. What's even worse are the reasons you go over and over again in your head as to why your partner cheated. AskMen shares the top cheating myths that every man should know about.

Just about everyone has heard of the extramarital relationships of Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods and Arnold Schwarzenegger, so if anyone's going to stray, it's going to be the man, right? What about Meg Ryan, Tori Spelling, Madonna, LeAnn Rimes, Whoopi Goldberg, Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Lopez? One of the great myths about infidelity is that only men sleep around. Not true! Women also cheat. An affair could happen to anyone.

As a psychiatrist in the Brown University faculty, I've been researching men, women, marriage and relationships for more than a decade. In that time, I've come to discover that one of the greatest challenges to a committed relationship is when one partner goes outside the marriage to look for a connection, either physical and emotional.

When people find out about infidelity, they often make all kinds of assumptions about how and why people have affairs. We live in a hush-hush culture - when it comes to infidelity, there's a lot of BS out there - and most of what you think is true just isn't. Here are the 10 most common misconceptions about infidelity, and the real take on what you need to know.

9. Once An Affair Is Out In The Open, A Couple Can Never Be Happy Again

Affairs happen, and people do recover - you hardly ever hear success stories because no one's talking. Couples can learn to successfully rebuild their relationships, and many of my patients say their bonds are even stronger once they've worked things through.

Distinguishing infidelity fact from fiction can help you and your partner gain a better understanding of how an affair happens, what to expect if one does and what you can do to prevent infidelity. Truth is a powerful tool that can help you recover.

8. Infidelity Is Never About Sex; It's About Other Marital Issues

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes extramarital "sex" is just about sex. For sure, some affairs are just about unmet emotional needs, but for some people - not the majority - an affair is just about going out and getting laid.

7. You Can't Call It Cheating If Sex Wasn't Involved

Many affairs happen without any sex at all. Is staying up half the night secretly texting an old classmate about your most intimate thoughts being unfaithful? The person doing it may not see it as cheating, but you can bet your partner sees it this way. When you give an emotional part of yourself to someone with whom you could potentially cheat one day, it's cheating.

6. Affairs Are All About Sexual Attraction

Sure, yeah, some affairs are only about the sex, but lots of the time, affairs happen because of an emotional connection. Sometimes, hanging out together and sharing feelings is as far as the affair ever goes, although it's true that the sense of emotional closeness often leads to sex.

5. Affairs Happen Because Of Problems In The Marriage

Here's the truth: almost every marriage has problems. Affairs don't happen because something's wrong with the marriage; they happen, in part, because couples don't know how to work together to solve the issues they have. Having problems in your relationship doesn't justify cheating.

For 4 more cheating myths that guys should know, head to AskMen: 9 Cheating Myths All Men Need To Know About.

Check out more great stories from AskMen:

About this blog
From parenting and pets to romance and style, our Lifestyle blog has got you covered on all the latest trends and developments shaping how we live our lives today.

Layla A. Jones philly.com
Michael Klein Philly.com
Gabrielle Bonghi Philly.com
Mare McKeever philly.com
Nick Vadala Philly.com
Natalie Hope McDonald for Philly.com
Latest Videos:
Also on Philly.com
Stay Connected