Looking at my Genuardi's circular this week, I see this offer for club card holders: For $24, you can get a "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" DVD or Blu Ray combo PLUS an 8-pack of Coke PLUS a box of Rice Krispie Treats PLUS a box of Keebler Town House crackers PLUS a bag of white chedder Pirate Booty.
Never has the link between empty calorie entertainment and empty calorie food been so transparent. Since the movie is 130 minutes long, it's possible you eat all of that stuff during "Stranger Tides," and what's that add up to -- 12 billion carbs, formed by sugar and flour? That's the bad news. The good news is if you eat it you'll be too fat to leave your house by the time "Pirates 5," comes out. And it looks like there will be a 5. Johnny Depp has apparently withdrawn his threat to drop out of the franchise.
I found "P4" to be deadly dull, but don't take my word for it -- it drew a 33 percent on rottentomatoes.com, and suffered a 55 percent week-to-week drop when it opened in May, indicating auds didn't really dig it either.
On the other hand, it's PG, and if you looking for a family DVD this week, your going to have to go "P4" over "Bad Teacher," an education riff on "Bad Santa" featuring Cameron Diaz as a raunchy, unscrupulous teacher. Some black comedy laughs here, but not enough to get BT of the, um, hump.