Sunday, December 28, 2014

Tiger mom scorned by dolphin dad

Tiger Mom went to China and confused the populace.

Tiger mom scorned by dolphin dad

Tiger Mom went to China and confused the populace.

So says MSNBC.com, which reports that Amy Chua, author of the controversial “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” was asked to speak in China about her tough-love brand of parenting. She called it the Chinese way, although people in China didn’t recognize it as theirs. They actually believe the Western method of parenting (more love, more leniency) is better, the web site reports.

So it turns out that Tiger Mom wasn’t presenting anything authentically Asian. She was just being a super-strict lady.

I didn’t care for her book or her mommy methodology. Refusing to accept your own child’s hand-made card because you don’t think it’s good enough is really, really rough stuff – borderline cruel. And while I admit that my style is less tiger and more puppy (goldfish? dolphin? antelope?), I still believe that consistency and mega-love are the answers.

This isn’t to say you can’t be firm, or rules-oriented, or ask more of your kid than she’s willing to put out at any given time.

But children aren’t recruits in a parent’s army. Lighten up and let them breathe.

Alfred Lubrano Inquirer Columnist
About this blog
A New York City native, Lubrano has written for newspapers since 1980. He's the author of a book, "Limbo: Blue-collar roots, white-collar dreams," and was a commentator for National Public Radio for 16 years. His work has appeared in various national magazines and anthologies. He lives with his daughter in South Jersey, and has worked for the Inquirer since 1995. Reach Alfred at alubrano@phillynews.com.

Alfred Lubrano Inquirer Columnist
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