Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Blind wrestling daddy

Being a parent means steer-wrestling with the unexpected.

Blind wrestling daddy


Being a parent means steer-wrestling with the unexpected.

Being a joint-custodial parent sometimes demands that you do that same wrestling wearing a blindfold.

This is to say that stuff happens in the other house that has repercussions in yours. And a daddy is suddenly called on to deal with something he never saw coming.

For example: My darling daughter receives a just punishment from the other household for failing to do something she was asked to do. Part of the punishment is that the Little Girl is not allowed to speak on the phone until she gets a certain chore done.

I get a communiqué from said household, asking me to honor this. It’s a reasonable request. But what it means is if the kid calls, I’ve got to remind her that she’s not allowed on the phone. And I’ll have to end the conversation before it begins.

I’ve been known to drop anything and anyone to take a call from my kid during non-custodial times. I thirst for her voice, and I constantly think of dumb questions to ask her just to keep her talking. It would be extraordinarily difficult for me to tell my kid we can’t speak, should she call.

So now I’m praying she doesn’t, just to avoid having to cut her off.

This is how life gets?

There is no way anyone could foresee stuff like this. But it happens all the time for joint custodians.

Watch out for the steers. And welcome to the rodeo.


Inquirer Columnist
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About this blog
A New York City native, Lubrano has written for newspapers since 1980. He's the author of a book, "Limbo: Blue-collar roots, white-collar dreams," and was a commentator for National Public Radio for 16 years. His work has appeared in various national magazines and anthologies. He lives with his daughter in South Jersey, and has worked for the Inquirer since 1995. Reach Alfred at

Alfred Lubrano Inquirer Columnist
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