After-school disaster looms as daddy frets
The Philadelphia Inquirer's Al Lubrano writes about raising children in a joint custody relationship.
After-school disaster looms as daddy frets
Alfred Lubrano, Inquirer Columnist
I have a potentially huge problem with child care, just as school is starting.
Through the kind of mix-up that comes with joint parenting, I thought something was taken care of that wasn't. As a result, my daughter may not be eligible to join the after-care program in her school.
She's officially on the waiting list. That leaves me in a bind: She finishes school at 2 p.m., and the earliest I can get to her after work is 5 p.m. on my custody days. Because my ex and I split the week, I have the Little Girl for either two or three school days each week, depending on the month. That's a lot of blown coverage.
I am staring at the wall, wondering what I'm going to do. School starts in less than a week and I've got no plan. And how do you vet potential nannies in six days, three of which are part of a holiday weekend?
I've begged the after-care folks for mercy, but mercy doesn't feed the bulldog.
Joint custodians know that signals sometimes get crossed, and official school documents may go home to one parent but not the other. The result can be a catastrophic mess.
I may have to cannibalize days from Christmas vacation to take off from work when school starts. I'll be able to pick up my daughter at day's end, and it may buy me time till I find a solution.
Parenting is a slippery enterprise. You can do nine things right and believe you've got the 10th tucked away, when you drop all the juggled balls and lunge gracelessly for what's fallen.
Guess you need to plan with your ex better.— Ben Fan
Comment removed.
Stop whining and be glad you have days that you can cannibalize from your Christmas vacation. Most of us regular folk don't have that kind of stuff— intelliwoman- "regular folk?" Wow. It amazes me that people still think like that, small-minded and carping and resentful. There is nothing in this piece that sounds whiny, simply a father trying to deal in the best way that he can with a job and a child. To me, staying home with the kid is the best alternative, but most people can't any more. So quit the holier than thou attitude. It's a good thing philly.com allows anonymity. — Christine
- Seriously, you need to stop making bad guys out of the schools, the after care programs, the camps. They are not at fault when it comes your YOUR schedule. This is not the first time you have whined about the unbending system when it comes your schedule. Why should the rules be different for you? This is your child and your responsibility. Following through on planning for her care is not something you can half do or 'think' someone else is going to take care of. I am guessing that you are getting a taste of what it is like for the other parent who has always done the planning. Not something that should be taken for granted, eh?— scargosun
- Make sure the school has your name and contact information. Request that they end you copies of all information given to parents. The school is required to send you copies of report cards and they should be willing to send everything else. If they are uncooperative, then you know that you have to keep checking. Introduce yourself to the home room teacher and make your presence and interest known.— phillyguy36
