Saturday, May 30, 2015

The Onion thumps Cigna and CEO Cordani

"50 billionth" claims denial

The Onion thumps Cigna and CEO Cordani

We can't print the headline (this is still a family publication) so you'd have to check out The Onion's satirical hatchet job on (formerly Philadelphia-based) health insurer Cigna Inc. and its chief executive David Cordani, depicted as celebrating the company's "50 billionth" claims denial, for yourself, here.

Excerpt: “'In my 13 years helping this company prevent sick people from getting the health care they need, there has never been a more exciting—or lucrative—time to work here,' said Cigna’s executive vice president Mark Boxer, celebrating at the office with the national accounts team, which took turns swinging at a cancer-patient shaped piñata."

As I've noted before, when it comes to getting someone to pay for your health care, eventually somebody has to say no, because there isn't enough money in this world for all the medical attention everybody wants. You don't have to wait for government "death boards;" your private insurer or care provider can do an equally final job separating what's payable and what's not.

I asked a Cigna official about the Onion item -- "It's the kind of publicity you just can't buy," I said -- and was told, "Ugh." 

About this blog

PhillyDeals posts drafts, transcripts and updates of Joseph N. DiStefano's columns and stories about Philly-area business, which he's been writing since 1989.

DiStefano studied economics, history and a little engineering at Penn and taught writing at St. Joseph's. He has written thousands of columns and articles for the Inquirer, Bloomberg and other media, wrote the book Comcasted, and raised six children with his wife, who is a saint.

Reach Joseph N. at,, 215.854.5194 or 302.652.2004.

Reach Joseph N. at or 215 854 5194.

Joseph N. DiStefano