The Thong Song

At the risk of propping up either brand in what smells like a summer's day publicity stunt, I will quickly wade in and out of today's dust-up involving Abercrombie & Fitch and The Sitch.

To wit: A&F, the chain that brought you kiddie thongs, half-naked salespeople, eardrum-exploding store music and cologne bombs stinking up major malls, thinks MTV Jersey Shore himbo Mike "The Situation" Sorrenttino is too uncouth for its clothes. So the retailer has asked him to cease & desist, even offering cold hard cash as an incentive.

Talk about a made-for-media spat: Last year, A&F confirmed that Sorrentino was the inspiration for its "Fitchuation" t-shirt. Now, the ticked-off clothing chain wants all its stuff back.

"We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes," the company said in a statement, "but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans."

I won't even begin to guess what "aspiration" A&F imagines its young, impressionable customers have, besides looking exactly like the the older, sexualized people in its catalogs.

-- Monica Yant Kinney