Sunday, March 29, 2015

What makes Philadelphians Hot

Friday afternoon, I'm in Suburban Station, with a few minutes to kill, and I happen upon a crowd gathering with signs and sheet music. Turns out it's a performance of the Philadelphia Complaint Chorus, and for the next six or so minutes I got treated to a musical rendering of many things that are annoying about living in this city, including:

What makes Philadelphians Hot

I can't remember when waiting for SEPTA was so satisfying.

Friday afternoon, I'm in Suburban Station, with a few minutes to kill, and I happen upon a crowd gathering with signs and sheet music. Turns out it's a performance of the Philadelphia Complaint Choir, and for the next six or so minutes I get treated to a musical rendering of many annoying things about living in this city, including.

SEPTA.

New Jersey drivers.

Casinos next door.

Call centers.

Did we mention New Jersey drivers?

Over and over, with a poopy chorus.

Well, someone made a video of what I happened upon. My only complaint is that they didn't capture the street person who joined in toward the end, and deserves a solo at the next and last time this is performed, which will be at the Painted Bride, Wednesday at 6 p.m.

UPDATE: There's been a call from the comments section for lyrics. Shelley Spector of the choir project sent this along, the working lyrics from a few weeks ago:

Philadelphia Complaint Choir

 
Music: Evan Solo
Lyric Coordination : Shelley Spector

The government does not believe in global warming
My unemployed roommate just smokes pot all day
The maintenance man will not take my phone calls
I wish I had time to complain.
 
 
The parking signs in the city confuse me
I hate men who make comments on m hairy legs
Horse and buggies hold up traffic
I wish I had time to complain.
 
Please listen carefully as or menu options have changed
Your call is very important to us
 
I hate my job,
Nobody listens to me
 
D-O-G P-O-O-P
Pop-poo-py Poo-py
 
When the third floor toilet overflows
it rains in my office
When the second floor toilet overflows
it rains in my kitchen
 
They want to build casinos right next to our houses
The wind blew my umbrella inside out
Half the Sunday paper is advertising trash
I have gas
 
Please listen carefully as or menu options have changed
Your call is very important to us
 
New Jersey drivers, can’t drive or park
I hate my job,
Nobody listens to me
 
D-O-G P-O-O-P
Pop-poo-py Poo-py
 
 
Why, Why, Why
Why can’t we vote for the people who write the campaign speeches?
Why, Why, Why
Why isn’t it raining? It was supposed to rain
Why, Why, Why
Why is the cost of college tuition so high?
Why Why Why
Why can’t I get sex more than ev’ry for months?
 
New Jersey drivers, can’t drive or park
I hate my job,
Nobody listens to me
 
D-O-G P-O-O-P
Pop-poo-py Poo-py
 
A          Due to unusually high call volume our operators are busy assisting other customers
Your call will be answered in the order it was received
 
B          Please listen carefully as or menu options have changed
Your call is very important to us
 
New Jersey drivers, can’t drive or park
I hate my job,
Nobody listens to me
 
D-O-G P-O-O-P
SEPTA sucks!
 
New Jersey drivers, can’t drive or park
I hate my job,
Nobody listens to me
 
New Jersey drivers, can’t drive or park
I hate my job,
Nobody listens to me
 
D - O - G   P - O - O - P

Daniel Rubin Inquirer Columnist
About this blog
Blinq is a news commentary blog featuring contributions from Inquirer Metro columnists Kevin Riordan and Daniel Rubin.

Daniel Rubin Inquirer Columnist
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