In your face

I quit cigarettes three years ago.

But the truth is, I’d resume the filthy habit in a second if it weren’t so utterly unhealthy, expensive, and, yes, filthy.

And I also admit loving Mayor Michael Gabbianelli’s reaction to complaints that he puffs away inside the municipal building in Monroe Township, Gloucester County.

“You don’t (expletive) like it, there’s the (expletive) door,” the Courier-Post quoted this quintessential South Jersey mayor as telling a lawyer, which makes the story an even more fabulously guilty pleasure.

I had a similar reaction to the “smoking” campaign ad that caused the firestorm-before-the-firestorm about the sexual harassment charges now threatening to consume the candidacy of GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain.

In those halcyon days before Politico’s explosive expose, the biggest Cain controversy was about his campaign manager Mark Block exhaling smoke at the end of a (rather effective) commercial.

So much heat, so little light: As far as I know, presidential campaign managers and even presidents, for that matter, are still allowed to smoke in the United States.

But Block and Gabbianelli might want to think twice about exercising their right to enjoy this perfectly legal custom in Cape May.

The town's nannies-in-chief – ever eager to inflict their enlightenment on everyone else – want to ban outdoor smoking in public places.

Including the beach.