Chris Christie, Your Funny Valentine

For those of you still scrambling to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift for your sweetums, the team at The Chris Stigall Show has a swell idea: A verbal smackdown from the Governor of New Jersey, because "nobody says 'love' like Chris Christie."

I caught the biting mock commercial for "Christie Cards" driving to work while listening to the WPHT 1210 AM radio talk show. Think Hallmark, but with instantly classic Christie-isms like "Numnuts" and "You must be the thinnest-skinned guy in America." (Stigall's producers kindly shared the clip below.)

Listening to the bit, I thought of an easy way Christie could have fun with his tough-guy image and raise much-needed new revenue for his cash-strapped state: Record custom voicemail for a fee.

Think about it, how aweseome would it be to have the governor's booming bass barking your outgoing message? He could tell telemarketers to stick it and remind Granny to take her medicine and leave a message.

NPR legend Karl Cassell offers up similar greetings as prizes to lucky listeners of the show, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." I love Karl, but I'd happily pay $20 (or more) to have Christie speaking for me and my fellow Kinneys.

And while he's at it, what about Chris Christie ringtones? Just saying...

-- Monica Yant Kinney