Can't Tell a Book ...

Walked into one the office of one of our big cheeses on Friday and asked if I could get tested.

"Huh? What kind of test."

"DNA."

"Why? That's about $300."

I asked how he knew. He said he'd been tested himself. The results were no surprise, about 98 percent African and 2 percent southern European, which likely had lots of African influence anyway, he said.

I told him the story behind today's column, how Julian Onorato watched a TV show about identity, then sent off for a test kit that revealed family roots and paths of migration. The results stunned the pension exec who considered himself 100 percent South Jersey-South Philly Italian. Not even close.

Then I told my editor how I think I'm 75 percent Russian Jew with about 25 percent from the Austrio-Hungarian Empire.

He looked at me, and I could see him doing some calculations in his head.

"No, you're probably what you say you are."

Thinking of taking up a collection.