The Cool-Walking, High-Kicking Cyber Church of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris recently thought to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Why is the butt-kicking, name-taking star of Walker, Texas Ranger and late-night infomercials the inspiration behind myriad blog posts, Internet jokes and Bunyonesque myths? (Note to the makers of Red Bull: jokes, we said.)
The Virginian-Pilot asked these questions in a recent piece. Its readers filled them in. Among the truisism contributed to the Norfolk, Va., newspaper's online guestbook:
Time waits for no man. But it hesitates around Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris cannot swim. Every time he tries, he ends up walking on water.
And, Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
So what gives? There's a Chuck Norris Worthiness Test, the "Young Chuck Norris" Saturday Night Live skit, scores of video tributes, and a Chuck Norris random fact pages (clock 'reload' for another of the 40,000). There's even a Chuck Norris-penned Civil War novel - wait that's not a joke. (No? Have you tried reading it?)
A Washington Post writer tracked down the 65-year-old actor's publicist, Jeff Duclos, for his explanation of the high-kicking icon's enduring appeal among the younger generations. Duclos, who has been Norris's publicist since the last season of "Walker," credits the character's "consistent persona."
"There are very few people who have projected that kind of image, that kind of mythical heroism," he says. "People, especially young men, appreciate the underlying principles of that character, the morality, the dignity, the sense of right and wrong."
Last week, Penn State's Daily Collegian began it's look at Norrismania this way:
The word on the street isn't about war, famine or midterms. These days, students are talking about Chuck Norris.
The article works hard to find the roots of the trend, suggesting it may have begun a few years ago when Late Night With Conan O'Brien won permission to show footage of Walker, Texas Ranger, freeing the host to show segments whenever he pulled a lever by his desk. Any why not? Walker was a classic of the genre.
Penn State senior Ryan O'Donnell, a recreation management major, is quoted as saying:
"The clips on Conan were absurd. You just watch and wonder what the hell [Norris] was thinking," O'Donnell said. "In one clip, Walker was in a field with a man. He bends down, tastes a handful of dirt, spits it out and said, 'A plane crashed here.' "
This is a craze with legs that stretch from Happy Valley to Big Sky country. Montana Kaimin online wrote last week:
Nothing is quite as flattering as having your career revived because a bunch of college kids have nothing better to do than read about your fictitious lifestyle. Yes, I'm talking about you, Chuck Norris.
For those of you who don't know, the once-fading star of "Walker, Texas Ranger" has been re-energized because of a slew of random, and quite humorous, Norris-related "facts" published on the Internet (see: the United States city with the lowest crime rate is whichever city Chuck Norris is currently in).
And the respect comes not just from this country, or from those who speak Norris's language. Roundhouse Kicks, a blog with the url "welovechucknorris.blogspot.com," is in Italian, and includes such truisms as "Chuck Norris ha le palle mediche." (Need better translation software: Mine reads, "Chuck Norris has the medical balls.")
You know, of course, that the movie "Brokeback Mountain" took nine years to film because they could only shoot while Chuck Norris was out of the country.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
And, the tale that Norris reportedly likes most?
When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The Chuck Norris thing, has swept through the world of Massive Multiplayer online role playing games (MMORG's) too. Mostly populated by those between 15 and 25 it has gotten out of hand. Some guilds, (associations of players) banning anymore mention of him, because it just goes on and on. I would say more, but Mr. Norris is always watching.
he looks like a gay 70's-era porn star in that pic!! I hate to say it, but daddy is HOT!!
I love the roundhouse kick to the head ones. My online gaming site, about a month ago, became aware of the Chuck Norris phenomenon. They get chuckles (get it?!?!) every time.
This is big on PSU message boards too "Santa Clause was real, until he forgot to give chuck norris a christmas present" , or "Chuck norris lost his virginity before his father" The one about the devil, the 72 dolphins, and JFK's assination are all classic too
This site has some of the ones I remember reading, although I can't find the link to the full list... plus, this site might offer to sell you something, so Chuck Norris should send out his Roundhouse Virus to wipe it off the internet :) ChuckNorrisFacts.com That site has some of the classics on it # Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. # Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Norris became legendary to me when in Lonewolf McQuade he was buried alive in his truck and drank beer and drove himself out. You can't make this stuff up....wait actually you can.
Our correct url is www.welovechucknorris.blogspot.com anyway, MANY THANKS!!!! :)
oops
...palle mediche..medical balls hmmm..it's quite a correct translation, they are heavy rubber balls used to train boys muscles in Italian high school..when I was young our trainer forced us to make lots of exercises throwing those horrible balls..probably an heritage of the fascism :)
grazie mille, here we also call them medicine balls. but they are the same thing. they are big and heavy, and the sort that Chuck would carry.
A bit late on this, don't you think? By the way it started with Vin Diesel, and then changed to Chuck Norris. Some people are trying to make it now with Jack Bauer (from "24"), but it isn't as catchy. The previous poster is correct that it swept through games like World of Warcraft back in December. Feel free to report on how this Night of Fire video is what people online are talking about: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=426566504844044258 Or this video called Fear of Girls: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7521044027821122670 Both are work-safe & what the online gamers are goofing on in the last few weeks.
thanks for sharing your expertise. it was generous of you to take some time from your other pursuits.
When Chuck Norris got checked for his hernia he made the doctor cough.
Come on. The idea that Chuck Norris could just sneak up behind you and kill you with a single roundhouse kick is absolugggggggggggggggsdc
chuck norris is the funniest mother%^* in the world
When a reporter asked, "What do you think of this new Chuckmania fad sweeping the nation?" Chuck Norris round house kicked him in the face saying, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Someone once suggested to Chuck Norris that there might exist a more effective kick than the roundhouse kick. This is recorded as the worst mistake in human history.
Daniel Rubin of the Philadelphia Inquier's "Bling" Weblog pays homage to the mystical Church of Chuck Norris Worship. If Charles Bronson had lived longer, or been born a decade younger, he'd probably be enjoying similar sorts of encomiums today. Or...