The Other David also makes it to the couch, so the drama is, as you knew it would be, between Jason and Syesha.
And even Jason's not so far out of it that he thinks that's going to be wrapped up by 9:25.
So while we're waiting -- Maroon 5 and Bo Bice, oh my -- you might want to give some thought to "Idol's" carbon footprint. After all the fuss abotu the "green" finale this year, was the private jet to Vegas really the message that needed to be sent?
"Someone's dream will be crushed," promises Ryan.
Please don't let it be my dream of a Jason Castro-free "Idol."
But, hey, if you were worried about Little David Archuleta -- in which case you're probably also losing sleep over the possibility of alien invasion -- then you're out of your misery, as David's sent to the "nice, comfortable couch" where the survivors sit.
Things were going pretty well on last night's American Idol until Paula made Syesha break down in tears.
Wow, I never thought that could happen. Being deeply touched by something waffle-headed Paula said? That's like being inspired by something our illustrious president improvised. Just doesn't seem possible.
But at that point the wheels fell off the show. Everyone started cross-talking. Ryan called for tissues. And everyone tried to make Randy feel bad, although his comments to Syesha had made perfect sense.
Just 'cause you got the dreads, don't mean you got the goods to do Bob Marley, let alone a hippy dippy version of Bob Dylan. But Jason Castro didn't just do himself in last night with those aggregious song choices. I think he had help. The guy running the sound board had the band and backup singers mixed ridiculously low during "I Shot the Sheriff" - throwing the balance of the production way off and causing Simon to criticize the arrangement as well as the vocal. (The tech team fixed the mix for the brief replay at show's end, but it was too late by then. The singer had already been counted out by lots of viewers, not to mention Mr. Cowell.)
Then after getting chastized for his chutzpah with the first tune, how could Jason possibly pull off Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man" without messing up the "jingle jangle morning" chorus line? Actually, that's the easiest part to remember of that convoluted, poetically impressionistic song, which I used to sing in my college "folk singer" daze. In sum, Castro had a disaster of a night. He will be missed, though not by Simon, who ordered him to "pack your bags," and not by me.
David Cook was also poorly served, I think, by someone within the A.I. organization. Who talked him into singing Duran Duran's "Hungry Like a Wolf"? Cook himself allowed he didn't really like the song, first time (?!??) he heard it, but that it eventually grew on him. I've noted in the past that Cook's voice has a flat-liner tone, but this sultry, baying wolf's cry needs a voice (like original singer Simon Le Bon's) even more monochromatic than the Cook-ster's. So this time, the popular contestant couldn't take the ditty anywhere, not even out on a date. His second choice of the night, "Baba O'Riley" was better alligned with his voice and image. However, his airing was so truncated that any Who couldn't help but be pissed off. With a little less between song banter, maybe Cook could have done the whole song? What a "teenage wasteland," indeed.
Little David chooses Elvis Presley's "Love Me Tender," noting he's never really sung a love song on the big stage.
There's probably a reason for that.
All three judges may agree that David A., as Simon puts it, "crushed" the competition,, but I'm not feeling it. Isn't this just the kind of professional child singer performance -- technically adept but basically soulless -- that Simon would normally despise?
Jason Castro's picked a Bob Dylan song for his second try, so you'd figure that forgetting the words wouldn't matter -- and yet, in "Mr. Tambourine Man," it sort of does.
Especially when he covers about as well as a guy who's been caught by his parents with a smoking bong.
Not that he really seems to care -- he's so sure of his core audience of fellow stoners and Girls Who Love Losers that nothing fazes him.
Did Syesha, in introducing "A Change Is Gonna Come," just compare the civil rights movement -- "a pivotal time in our history" -- to her "Idol" odyssey -- "a pivotal moment in my life"?
Er, yes, I think she did.
I know these kids are living in a bubble, but does no one ever think to step in and save them from themselves?