Carly Smithson in the bottom three.

So if Simon really was trying to help the ringer by telling her she'd picked the wrong song with "Blackbird,"  we can only assume he overdid it.

That was unquestionably the strangest night of the season so far . The capper for me was when Paula went into her long diatribe to excuse Michael's John's bad cabaret version of "A Day in the Life", rambling on about the difficulties of trying to sing with a monitor in your ear.

Then she tried to mock Simon, saying, "Ha, ha, Simon is the only one who doesn't know about monitors!" To which Randy happily chipped in like there's no tomorrow, "Because he isn't a performer, right?"

Um, turns out there was someone else who didn't know about the challenges of singing with a monitor: Michael Johns, who, it turned out, wasn't using one.

Simon observed, "Well, that's embarrassing."

I wish he hadn't had said that because Paula then launched into a long, incomprehensible defense of her comments. I think her point was that  even though she had been wrong, she was still speaking in full sentences.

Apparently it's only embarassing for her when she lapses into complete Paula gibberish, as when she told Amanda Overbear ing last night, "You are quintessential, authentic, who-you-are."

Aren't we all, Paula?

For more of my thoughts on last night's Idol, go to:

www.daveondemand.com/dodblog

"I just had to look. Having read the book." That's the lyric, Michael Johns, ok? You want to condense A Day in the Life, are you nuts? At least don't mess up the words. The Idols once again committed mass murder on the Lennon McCartney songbook, aka, the Beatles, this ancient music group none of them seem to have any feeling for whatsoever. With apologies to my colleagues who were at least a little charmed by last night, I thought that one by one, they stood up and murdered these songs. Please. Make. It. Stop.

Amanda Overmyer: Don't reinterpret the lyrics of Back in the USSR. Just sing the melody like they wrote it. You're female, it would be a cool reinterpretation just to sing it like Paul. And where was that scream? You people are wusses. Here's a primer for you, Paul himself singing it in Red Square in 2003. http://youtube.com/watch?v=GhRu9yzlTRI&feature=related

Kristy Lee Cook: You've Got To Hide Your Love Away reinterpreted as a gregorian chant, a dirge, a crime against music. Awful.

David Archuletta: The Long and Winding Road. Just this side of bearable. At least he seemed to get the song. But Simon, come on, a master class? Have our expectations sunk that low? This whole night was like watching a grade school talent show.

Michael Johns: A Day in the Life. See above. And in the end…singing the Beatles was a horrendous idea that showed the limitations of these uninspired performers.

Brooke White, the singing nanny dressed in yellow for Here Comes the Sun. Again, like a grade school talent show where the mom went overboard to theme the kids for their performance. Wow, how clever, a yellow dress! Terrible, horrible, awful. And Brooke, just stop talking when Simon is critiquing you. Be quiet.

David Cook, Day Tripper. Started not too bad, I like his voice. But the voice box Peter Frampton thing was jarringly terrible. Ruined it.

Carly Smithson: Blackbird. Kinda stupid singing, though I agree with Ellen, to criticize the song choice as Simon did is weird. I was a little distracted by how she'd used mascara to separate every little eyelash on her eye. Speaking of distraction, I wish Simon would not put his hairy forearm and impatiently drumming fingers behind Paula's head while she is giving her comments.

 Jason Castro: Michelle. He sings French pretty! Paula's polka line was funny. Passable.

Syesha: Yesterday. So Miss America cringey. Nice shout out to Paul the guitarist on stage. Yes, thank goodness for the long suffering Paul. But how much longer can he stand it?

Chikeze: I've just seen a face. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Just when I started to think, you know, I kind of like this slowed down version, he hit the harmonica and took off on a Kristy Lee Cook hoedown massacre of Beatles out of control debacle. Oy.

That leaves Ramiele, with I Should Have Known Better. Yes.

With this year's extra strong field of contestants, it's getting harder and harder to find things to criticize. That's why, I think, Simon was nit-picking, grasping at straws during  last night's second Beatlesfest, to keep the "controversy" level up and to try to thin the herd.

A perfect example - knocking sweet Brooke White for wearing a yellow dress as she sang "Here Comes The Sun" and judging her performance "horrible." Okay, so she doesn't move it so well, but the singing was definitely  full-bodied.

Similarly, Simon went after Carly Smithson for the too obvious (?) visual connect between her black hair and "Blackbird" declaring "I don't think that was a smart thing to do." Huh? It was maybe the best performance of the night. And gave her the chance to talk about how she's felt "broken down" by the music industry (the "take your broken wing" line) and  again learned how to "fly."  Do we smell a hint of setup here between the performer and the TV judge, to create some dramatic exciitment and sympathy for the "ringer"?

And what the hell was Simon thinking, critiquing the ""Achy Breaky Heart" quality  of Chikezie's "I've Just Seen a Face"?  Has Mr. Cowell never heard the Beatles' original, which was very much  country inspired (in a Marty Robbins vein)? Like he did the previous week, I'm thinking the Chikster's performance mix of new soul (first part) and then country finish was a very good way to take the  song somewhere new, then bring it home.  And it really showed his vocal range.

Not that I think Simon (or Paula, or Randy) were totally off base last night. Amanda Overmyer's one trick pony act - this time putting her gruff, note eliminating Southern soul twist on "Back In the USSR"  -  is getting repetitive. When will the viewers figure out the woman has a limited  range?  But you gotta hand it to Amanda for rationalizing that she's only got a minute and a half to show what she'll be like in club performances. She's already planning ahead.

David Archuleta's "The Long and Winding Road" was  deservedly praised - though I don't think I'd go so far as to call it (as did S) a "master class." The kid was in his comfort zone, and his huge  fan base was probably in ecstasy. Still, the performance would have been more edgy and nteresting without the same sappy string arrangment which Phil Spector laid on the Beatles' original version after the fact.

The other dream boy of the younger set, dreadlocked  Jason Castro, had a horrendous time with "Michelle." Randy wavered - "good choice . . don't know I really got it."  Paula sensed his "disconnect" - especially to the French lyrics.  And Simon said only his visual "charm" (oh so young and sheepishly smiling, "Grease" era John Travolta-like) was saving the guy. Do tell. 

In fact, I would have voted Jason  off the show after last night's shaky showing. That ain't gonna happen, however. Bottom crawler Kristy Lee Cook - another cute yet awkward performer -  is most likely to take the  stroll down memory lane tonight. Her "Hey You've Got To Hide That Love Away" was decent, though she kept cutting out the highest "hide" note. But Kristy really, um, blew it in her unintentionally salty parry with the judges after the performance, when she declared "I can blow you out of your socks and you know it." I think that expression goes "knock your socks off," dear.  Middle America was not pleased.

Ramiele Malubay gets the final spot with "I Should Have Known Better," and Simon faults her song choice, while noting that she's "in the same boat" with a number of other contestants whom he also feels have chosen unwisely.

So here's the deal: "American Idol's" waited all these years to get its mitts on the Beatles' music, and it turns out that Simon's not exactly crazy about most of it.

I mean, the guy doesn't like "Blackbird." 

Chikezie's "I've Just Seen a Face" confuses Randy, who apparently can't handle changes in tempo.

Paula, familiar with multiple personalities, loves it.

"I thought it started out OK, and then you played the harmonica," says Simon, who I'm guessing hasn't liked harmonicas since Taylor Hicks.

Didn't anyone warn Syesha Mercado to avoid "Yesterday"?

Apparently not.

Randy and Paula reward her chutzpah with praise, and Simon notes that "you chose the song Brooke should have sung," which I guess means he thinks it's a good choice.

Maybe I'm hallucinating, but didn't one of them say only last week that choosing "Yesterday" would be a mistake?

But then, Simon can't seem to remember what he told contestants from minute to minute, so why should anyone else be able to?

So it's time to ask the most pressing question of the night: Could Jason Castro possibly be wearing false eyelashes?

I know the little girls love him (and Simon, too, apparently), but to me, he just seems like the stoner version of Justin Guarini -- though with even more annoying hair.