YOU KNOW WHAT they say about cockroaches: If you've got one, you've got more than one.
Well, for Tiger Woods, they're all coming out of the woodwork.
Really, once there were three did anyone believe the bimbo parade would stop there? When has Tiger ever quit before 18?
As of last night (and granted, there could have been another one last night), the Tiger Tail count was at nine. Now he's only got the back 9 to go.
Last week it started with Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs and Kalika Moquin.
Then came Jamie Jungers, a Las Vegas waitress and "Trashy" model who met Tiger in 2005 when she was 22; Cori Rist, 31, whom Tiger met at a Manhattan nightclub (a good golfer has to cock his Rist), and Mindy Lawton, a Perkins restaurant manager from Orlando who met Tiger when he came in for breakfast. Turns out he liked his eggs - and her - over easy.
The London Sun adds in a wealthy Florida "cougar," a British TV hostess and two sexy Las Vegas party girls. That would actually make 10 but we think someone is double-counting, which, in golf, is a violation.
Another unnamed source says porn star Holly Sampson may also have spent some sack time with Tiger, which could bring the total to 11.
Hey, when we hit 10, we just pick up and move on to the next hole.
One can only wonder, at this point, if any Tiger cubs will soon be announced or how many other women will be hiring lawyers to negotiate payoffs. But why should Tiger pay when the cat's already out of the bag and there's payoff money available from other sources? Lawton has already gotten a payday from Britain's News of the World by telling her story (Tiger is well-endowed, fantastic in bed and would do it with her everywhere in his house except in his and Elin's bedroom).
Many of the women (and we use that term loosely) say Tiger was very unhappy in his marriage. Maybe that's true. Maybe that's how they justify their behavior.
Either way, Tiger probably won't have to worry about that marriage for too much longer.
'Bruno' pastor seeks office
Don't you hate it when movie stars go into politics?
Jody Trautwein isn't really a movie star, but he is the smiling Alabama pastor who tries to talk Sacha Baron Cohen's character out of being gay in "Bruno."
Trautwein hopes his next role will be as mayor of Birmingham.
He is among 14 candidates in next week's election to replace Larry Langford, who was booted from office in October after being convicted on 60 felony counts in a bribery scheme.
Trautwein's scene is played for laughs in "Bruno," but he's running a serious campaign. He has a Web site, fliers, volunteers and a platform that includes fighting crime, improving city schools, expanding the local economy and restoring integrity to City Hall.
"I haven't seen the movie," Trautwein said. "From what I understand it's about an hour-and-a-half of darkness and perversion with about three minutes of light."
Trautwein said he had been duped into appearing in the movie through phone calls from a producer and fake Internet sites set up by Cohen's cohorts. Trautwein said he believed that he was helping a German TV crew tell the story of a man who wanted to give up homosexuality.
In the movie, Trautwein counsels "Bruno" to convert to heterosexuality by believing in Jesus.
"He wants to come into your heart right now," Trautwein says earnestly.
"Are you hitting on me?" "Bruno" deadpans.
Daily News wire services contributed to this report.