I am not A-Rod's coach

I have not read the book.

I have no feelings on the subject.

I am not A-Rod's high school coach.

Three people have approached me on Facebook since Selena Roberts' book on Alex Rodriguez has been published. Two of them were just people, I think, but one of them was an honest-to-goodness journalist from a newspaper in South Florida. All of them wanted to chat about the allegations that A-Rod used steroids while in high school. They wanted to talk to the man who coached him -- a famous guy already in high school baseball circles, but suddenly a very famous guy because of this book.

His name is Rich Hofman.

My name is Rich Hofmann.

It's all in the extra n.

I am not in the least bit sensitive about how people misspell my name. I would estimate that 25 percent of the mail that comes to my house has my last name spelled with two f's and one n. If I just threw it away, I would lose out on so many fabulous free offers and other once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that, well, I couldn't live with myself.

I have received many checks from people with the wrong spelling -- every flavor and iteration of the wrong spelling -- and they all cashed just fine. I once had a brokerage account with the wrong spelling and nobody noticed for years, including me. I understand that people don't take the time to spell it right because they don't take the time to read it right, and I have learned when to pick my battles, like in a hotel. They have to spell it right to find your reservation. So you stand there and spell it for them as you're checking in,  and they can't find it because they're not listening, so you spell it for them again -- one f -- and they tend to manage to hear you the second time and find it. But sometimes it takes three times.

Which brings us back to A-Rod.

I do not know why he showed up so big that one year in high school. I do not know what he has lied about. I have not read the book but I do have the distinct feeling that the author would not be under quite the same media assault if she was a man, if her name was Sam Roberts and not Selena Roberts. I cannot prove that, though. It is just an opinion. I really know nothing about this. I have not read the book and I probably wouldn't read it if somebody gave me a copy for free -- not because it's a bad book but because I really don't give a crap.

Because I don't have to.

Because I'm not Rich Hofman.

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