Your kids and social media: To post or not to post?

Today's guest blogger is Meghan Walls, PsyD, a pediatric psychologist at Nemours/AI duPont Hospital for Children.

For the Gen X-ers and Millennials who are now parents, social media has been a part of life for quite some time.  A recent U.S. study found that 63 percent of moms use Facebook; of these, 97 percent said they post pictures of their children.

Many parents find it fun, even expected, to share photos of their children with friends and family. Social media has made it easier to connect with far-flung relatives and long-lost high school pals. What a treat for grandparents to see their darlings' latest baseball exploits and dance recitals – almost in real time – even if they can't be there in person. Social media also engenders a sense of community; moms join groups that rally support simply by being present. Sites like Facebook go after nostalgia, with 'throwback Thursdays' and feeds of 'on this day' photos you've posted in years past. It's inviting and engaging – no wonder parents share photos and information so readily.

However, it's advisable to push pause before you impulsively post a slew of pics from your child's latest birthday party on social media. PBS reminds parents that safety and privacy are of utmost importance. Keep your own account private, and only accept friend requests from people you know. Try not to tag locations your children frequent, such as school or home, giving strangers access to your child's whereabouts.

Also, don't post their full name with birthdates, as online identity theft can occur, even with children. Consider your children's own personal privacy, too, and refrain from posting any bath or potty photos or anything that shows nudity.  Remember, those photos exist online for a long time and it's unforeseeable who may access them. It also helps to have "less searchable" hash tags and names so that as time progresses, those posts are less likely to emerge.

Beyond safety, your child is her own individual person who may have opinions about what you should and shouldn't post. A recent New York Times blog post addressed just that, taking into consideration different types of posts and their effects on kids. In a study, they learned that parents and kids often disagree about what's appropriate to post. Both parents and children seem to feel confident in positive posts such as winning games or birthday parties. Children, however, don't approve of their parents posting negative or frustrating situations such as homework struggles or 'bad' behavior.

Take your child's feelings into consideration in terms of what might be hurtful or decrease kids' self esteem.  This article from Parenting reminds us that there are certain pictures you shouldn't post. Be wary of shaming your child, posting punishments, or making them feel bullied. Also, avoid posting photos that include other kids whose parents may not approve. Don't assume your friends are okay with your Instagram post of their kids just because you think it's cute.

Make your own decisions about posting, but post carefully. As kids get older, talk with them about their comfort level with what is released for public consumption and discuss why things may or may not be appropriate.  It opens the door to a broader discussion about their own social media behavior. Don't swear off posting about your child on social media, but use common sense and always think before you post.

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